by E. Williams on 12/11/14 at 7:36 pm
NASHVILLE, TN – (satireworld.com)
This mecca of country western music is abuzz today with the news that President Obama has nominated singing superstar Loretta Lynn to be the next Attorney General, replacing outgoing Agitator General, Eric Holder. Lynn was shocked but flattered at news of the nomination.
“I just couldn’t believe it!” a flustered Lynn remarked. “I still enjoy touring and entertaining crowds across America with my music but, if my country needs me to be the top cop in the land, well, I’ll answer that call like a couple of farmhands racing to the table when the biscuits and gravy are ready!”
If Lynn gets Senate approval, it will be a true “rags-to-riches” American success story. Lynn will have gone from a coal miner’s daughter to a music superstar to the nation’s top law enforcement official.
Many in the administration were shocked at the president’s pick for the position since they would prefer a purely political candidate – one who would cover up dirt on the outgoing AG, as well as someone who would continue to stoke the racial flames sowed by Holder.
“I just want us all to git along,” a demur Lynn said. “There’s just been so much hatin’ and dividin’ among the folks out there. I want to bring us all together. You won’t have to worry about me viewing everything through race-colored glasses.”
We wish the ‘Queen of Country Music’ the best of luck in her new role as the ‘Queen of Law Enforcement.’ Lynn says she will ask Mr. Obama if she can office out of the Grand Ole Opry, instead of Washington D.C.
P.S. – We are receiving word there may have been a typo on this report and we’re checking now to verify this information….