Entire Congressional Black Caucus Taken Into Custody With ‘Hands Up’ Gesture

by on 04/12/14 at 5:47 am

Asking for a show of solidarity, Sheila Jackson had to remind other Black Caucus members to raise two hands instead of one, but that meant members wouldn't have a chance to put their hand in other people's pockets.

Asking for a show of Ferguson solidarity, Sheila Jackson had to remind other Black Caucus members to raise two hands instead of one, but she met with some resistance after some members remarked that they’d miss a chance to put their hand in other people’s pockets.

WASHINGTON D.C. – (satireworld.com)

All members of the Congressional Black Caucus (CBC) were taken into custody without incident this morning after surrendering together on the House floor.  All members showed the “Hands Up, Don’t Shoot” gesture made popular in the wake of the Ferguson protests.

The bailiff on duty axed the CBC members why they were using the overused gesture on the House floor and they answered they were trying to make a point. The bailiff booked each member into the congressional jail and charged them with stupidity.

Bailiff Stan Hopper said he didn’t know specifically if the members had done anything wrong but “they all looked guilty as hell of something” so he brought them in. “I’ll give them something to protest about!” he said.

Caucus member Marcia Fudge reportedly “charged” the bailiff as he approached her, but eyewitness accounts of this were conflicting.

Houston congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee was later found guilty of wearing ridiculous outfits and being a fire hazard due to all the chemicals used to keep her triple-crown-weave-bird’s-nest of a hairdo together. She initially declared she was simply “waving her hands in the air like she just don’t care,” but the bailiff was having none of it.

CBC member Elijah Cummings kept blurting out, “Whitey’s got a gun!” at every white member of the House, even Democrats, he passed while being hauled out of the chamber.

Cumming’s outburst prompted CBC moonbat Keith Ellison to start singing “Whitey’s got a gun!” to the tune of Janie’s Got a Gun by Aerosmith as he was being lead away.

The rest of the House members later agreed that having the CBC members escorted to the jail was the first sensible thing that has happened on Capitol Hill this year.

Meanwhile, MSNBC announced all of their nightly shows would be reruns since all of their scheduled guests were now in jail.



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