Possible Replacements Floated as Vote For House Speaker Nears

by on 02/01/15 at 7:03 pm

PeeWee Herman actually turned the job down citing personal differences

PeeWee Herman actually turned the job down citing personal health problems

WASHINGTON D.C. – (satireworld.com)

As the deadline nears next Tuesday for the important vote which will decide if House Speaker John Boehner will retain his hold on the position, or if a challenger will unseat him, various names are being floated as possible successors. Boehner is currently very unpopular among Republicans and a recent poll shows over sixty percent of them would prefer someone else in the position.

Boner, as his critics like to refer to him, is known for his love of tanning lotions, being a crybaby, and supplying his own K-Y Jelly before bending over and letting President Obama have his way with him.

Some members of the House have suggested that Miley Cyrus, Lady GaGa, Nicki Minaj, or even Pitbull would be better choices than Boehner. Others have suggested SpongeBob SquarePants or even a log placed on an empty chair would be a marked improvement over the current Speaker.

One congressman said, “We don’t even have to have anybody with political experience. If they have a spine and can breathe, they would be an improvement. Sadly, this rules SpongeBob out.”

The vote next week will decide if the American people have a chance at regaining having any say about President Obama’s actions or if Boner will remain his rubber stamp for the final two years of his term.



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