During Obama’s SOTU Speech National B-S Meter Hits All-Time High

by on 21/01/15 at 7:32 am

 JUST IN TIME! Jimmy Allen got his 'official Barack Obama' bullshit decoder ring just in time for the State of the Union address during which Jimmy could actually tell reality from bullshit when his ring blinked red pulses.

JUST IN TIME!
Jimmy Allen got his ‘official Barack Obama’ bullshit decoder ring just in time for the State of the Union address during which Jimmy could actually tell reality from bullshit when his ring blinked red pulses.

Duke Energy had to put another nuclear reactor online just to feed the National Bullshit Meter located in Durham, NC.

Duke Energy had to put another nuclear reactor online just to feed the National Bullshit Meter which is located in Durham, NC.

Washington, DC- (satireworld.com)

In America, the President of the United States is required by law to give an annual report to both Houses of Congress and to the American people. It’s during this time the President’s truthfulness is also monitored by the American people who basically are listening to a one-sided report by the President on his own accomplishments.

Tuesday night’s televised State of the Union Speech featuring the Anointed One, Barack Hussein Obama, dragged on for an endless amount of time and all that was really said were things he’s said before on numerous occasions.

In lieu of a rather predictable speech, two milestones were made last night when, for the first time, a new ultra high speed digital teleprompter was brought in allowing the President to spin tall tales faster with automatic facts and measurements built in for the liberal media to quote from. The results were for the brainless masses who mostly couldn’t care less as long as their EBT cards were accepted almost everywhere and they didn’t need photo ID’s to vote.

The President promised the usual pile of freebies to the people who like ‘free stuff’. Talked about more civil politics then taunted the GOP with veto threats. Took credit for falling energy prices, yet promised a ‘review’ on the Keystone Pipeline project, took credit for beating Iran. Finally promising renewed efforts to balance the budget, than he spoke of increased spending. Finally, the President slapped his own back and took credit for a vanquished ISIS in Syria and Iraq while saying later that even more troops were being dispatched to the middle east.

The second milestone was after the speech when the National Bullshit Clock (similar to the National Debt Clock), spun wildly out of control for almost 40 minutes raising the National Bullshit Level Red, which is an all time record high of 99.980.

Perennial presidential hopeful, Hillary Clinton became so excited when the B-S alarm suddenly went off on her iPad, she inadvertently hit the hidden ‘dyke alert’ button under her bed, sending security scurrying to her home with a butterfly net and guns drawn.

Yes, there are people who count how many times Obama mentions himself in a speech….This time it wasn’t any different when he said ‘me’ or ‘I’ 789 times in 90 minutes.



2 Responses to “During Obama’s SOTU Speech National B-S Meter Hits All-Time High”

  1. Philbert of Macadamia

    Jan 21st, 2015

    Chris Mathews got another tingle up his right leg over “the anointed ones” SOU speech entitled Obama in socialist wonderland.

    Additionally, Chris got a second tingle up his left leg on hearing DNC Chair DWS was back from purgatory, instead of being fired for losing the US Senate to Republicans.

  2. Walter Bucket

    Jan 22nd, 2015

    Who invented the B-S Meter?

    I can’t ever get close to one to see it clearly because of all the racket.

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