WH SpokesBoy Josh Earnest Begins Stand-Up Comedy Tour

by on 03/03/15 at 8:49 pm

"Look Josh, once we land tell 'em a few golfing jokes. Then sneak in how much safer the world is and just how much people love me."

“Look Josh, once we land and you get up on stage don’t forget to tell ’em a few golfing jokes. Then sneak in how bad those Republicans are about holding up those ISIS jobs….Oh yeah, also tell them how much safer the world is and just how much people love me.”

WASHINGTON D.C. – (satireworld.com)

When a young man is about to finish high school and starts readying himself for college and the next chapter in his life, it’s not uncommon for him to look to the future and try to decide what he wants to be when he grows up. Such is the case of 17 year-old White House SpokesBoy Joshie Earnest. Earnest appears to be one of the lucky ones though. He’s already embarking on his new journey as a stand-up comedian.

“I was already making people laugh on a daily basis,” Josh told us in between sips of his juice box, “So I decided why not just parlay my part-time job as spokesboy into a career? I’ve been working on some new material in advance of my first real gig at the DC Improv Comedy Club. My job at the White House enables me to workshop new bits and tweak ideas before taking them in front of a paying audience.”

“Yeah, man, I told some jokes today to the press corp and they KILLED! So, check this out, I got up there and told them that, because of my boss, America’s relationship with Israel has never been stronger. They all cracked up! It was great! I thought maybe I needed something else, maybe a zinger there at the end, but when it works the way it is I’d be stupid to try to change it.”

“I told them I was going to use that one in my act. I said what I just told you, that I wasn’t going to screw up something if it worked OK the way it was. Then, as a joke, I said, ‘that’s my boss’s job.’ I just dropped it in there but they lost it and I thought ‘Bingo!’ another one for the act. Timing is so critical in the comedy biz. Who would have ever guessed politics could be so funny?”

“And some stuff surprises me, like when I say ‘We have ISIL on the run,’ it’s true but they just bust a gut and it takes a minute for them to settle down enough for me to continue. Sometimes it’s really hard to read a room and it’s a surprise to me which jokes work and which ones don’t. I get laughs with how we’re decreasing the debt, Obamacare, ISIL, even our readiness to combat Ebola. I don’t mean to sound arrogant, but I think I see an HBO comedy special in my future.”

Josh said he’s crafting a ten minute bit about ISIL and the ways jobs will make them a peaceful band of sand people. He admitted he thought ISIS sounded better in his jokes but his boss insists he only use the term ISIL, even if nobody else does. Marie Harf gave Josh her permission to use the ISIL job jokes in his act.

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