Hillary To Announce Presidential Run This Weekend

by on 10/04/15 at 6:04 am

She really is an old bag!

She really is an old bag!

Hillary Clinton's reply is all smiles when asked if she was going to let Bill loose soon...

Hillary Clinton’s reply is all smiles when asked if she was going to let Bill loose soon…

New York City – (satireworld.com)

Surprise! Surprise!

A source with knowledge of Hillary Clinton’s campaign plans has confirmed to SatireWorld that she will officially announce her 2016 presidential bid on Saturday or Sunday. This will be imminently followed by campaign travel to Iowa and New Hampshire.

For the past several months Hillary has been ramping up her presidential preparations including leasing office space for a headquarters in a Brooklyn location that once housed a dildo factory in the 1980’s. In recent weeks, the Clinton Team has been in New York scouting locations and hiring key staffers.

Reports that Bill Clinton has ‘been put on ice’ have circulated in recent days with those close to Hillary hinting that husband Bill has been temporarily ‘chemically neutered’ and kept in a secret location which is guarded by staffers all in an effort they hope will avoid a repeat of any sex scandals.

Temporary volunteer press agent Marie Harf says…” Hillary is looking to save the country and everyone needs to pitch in behind this brave and resourceful lady.” When asked if Hillary was going to ask the Bengazhi victim’s relatives to throw support behing her campaign Harf said it was ‘all water under the bridge’ as far as she was concerned.

6 Responses to “Hillary To Announce Presidential Run This Weekend”

  1. Greg

    Apr 10th, 2015

    She looks like “Mr. Ed’s” sister when she smiles!!!!

    “Oh Willlburrr!!”

  2. Captain america

    Apr 10th, 2015

    …will Monica interview her on the view for her 69th birthday…?

  3. Philbert of Macadamia

    Apr 10th, 2015

    If Queen Clinton II succeeds in being elected president (yuk) who gets to reside under the desk in the Oval Office?

  4. Captain america

    Apr 10th, 2015

    ….Huma. Huma. Huma…..hmmm?

  5. Walter Bucket

    Apr 10th, 2015

    White House guards are expecting to have to deal with ten times as many squirrels.

    PETA will be watching.

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