Sharpton’s “Loretta Lynch Hunger Strike” Latest Weight Loss Fad

by on 18/04/15 at 5:26 am

Careful Al, we 'Heard It On The Grapevine' that you might blow away!

Careful Al, we ‘Heard It On The Grapevine’ that you might blow away…Please.


NEW YORK CITY  – (satireworld.com)

Al Sharpton, already thin from decades of running around to get in front of cameras, has started a new weight loss program for the hardcore racist. The Loretta Lynch Fast, as it’s being called, is the latest gimmick to be used by the race pimp to gain media attention for the languishing Loretta Lynch attorney general confirmation.

Mr. Sharpton originally named the regimen “Lynch Fast,” similar to Slim-Fast, but smartly recognized the name didn’t work well for a race-based diet. His next idea was to go with “Forks Up! Don’t Eat!” but again decided against the name. The diet consists of fasting on alternate days with other activists while burning calories walking in never ending protests, sort of a lazy man’s fast.

Already looking like a California raisin, Mr. Sharpton will only be able to stick to the plan for one week or risk drying up and blowing away, an act that would make countless millions of Americans ecstatic. Early results of the fad diet suggest it is headed for the same fate as most weight loss plans. The majority of participants fall off the plan during the first week and quit the fast altogether, usually regaining all racial hatred, or white guilt, they may have exorcized during the fast, and then some.



2 Responses to “Sharpton’s “Loretta Lynch Hunger Strike” Latest Weight Loss Fad”

  1. Captain america

    Apr 18th, 2015

    …Obama’s pissed cuz Lynch is all in to stårt implementing his
    “REPARATIONS” program for victims of ‘white priviledge”
    during the last year of his reign….as Reid said, it won’t be a tax but a voluntary levy like Obamacare and IRS contributions…

    ….Lynch claims it’s a progressive program to curtail looting
    and the ‘white financial inequity in the economy”
    several ambulance chasing legal firms as seen on TV are ready to announce ad campaigns soliticitng clients with the promise of “millions” from
    “Obama’s Stash” and free Apple watches!

    • Philbert of Macadamia

      Apr 18th, 2015

      In Liberal Speak: Looting=Undocumented Buying

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