College Graduates Grateful to Hear First Lady Bitch About Life of Luxury

by on 13/05/15 at 6:39 am

"Nobody knows da troubles I'z seen"

“Nobody knows da troubles I’z seen”


At a commencement speech over the weekend at Tuskegee University, this year’s college graduates had their dreams come true. They got to listen to Michelle Obama bitch about how hard life is for the rich and famous. The First Lady taught the students a valuable life lesson – that life doesn’t revolve around them, all while making the event all about herself.

In most college graduation ceremonies, the focus is on the students and their finally reaping the reward for years of hard work and sacrifice. But this was Michelle’s day, so sit down and shut up, graduates.

Marcus Carlyle, an architect major, said, “It was nice that instead of the spotlight being on all of us for completing the long and challenging journey through college, the First Lady was able to hijack our ceremony so she could tell us how hard life is going to be for those of us lucky enough to someday be able to afford million dollar vacations and have a team of assistants at our beck and call. I hope I never have to deal with all that crap.”

Tamara Brown, graduating with a degree in sociology, remarked, “I found it refreshing that the First Lady made Mother’s Day and graduation day all about race. She really makes a compelling case for the fact that life is so bad for African-Americans, that we are still so kept down by ‘The Man’ and that we only make up, like, 15% of the population, but we can still become President or First Lady. Someday we will rise out of this present day slavery that the First Lady talks so eloquently about.”

The graduates were so deflated by the end of Michelle’s rant that they didn’t even have the strength to throw their caps in the air. They may be disillusioned about their own futures after the First Lady’s remarks about how America is still in the 1960’s where blacks are considered second class citizens, but at least they have a greater appreciation for what a burden Mrs. Obama has had to deal with as she struggles with getting everything she’s ever wanted.

2 Responses to “College Graduates Grateful to Hear First Lady Bitch About Life of Luxury”

  1. Philbert of Macadamia

    May 13th, 2015

    Watch for the new movie “Moocherella,” starring Kim Kardashian as Michelle and Prince Charming (TBD *), with Hillary Clinton as the evil stepmother.

    *You’ll never guess which former Democratic president is auditioning for the role?

    • Bargis

      May 13th, 2015

      Wait until this moocher has to pay for her vacations in 2017….Daytona Beach here she comes!

Leave a Reply