by E. Williams on 20/05/15 at 6:48 am
NEW YORK CITY – (satireworld.com)
As news that enormous speaking fees gave Bill and Hillary Clinton between $25-30 million in income for 2014, the revelation has dealt a blow to Mrs. Clinton’s talking point about her being a ‘champion for the middle class’. Many feel the Clinton’s are out-of-touch with everyday Americans because of their wealth. At a recent meeting at the press-free Clinton headquarters, Bill Clinton suggested that it all depended on what America’s definition of “middle class” is.
After hours of debate between some of the country’s least qualified and least intelligent people who comprise Hillary’s inner circle, it was decided that the definition of “middle class” would now mean “anyone making below $50 million a year in taxable income.” Proud of their novel idea, the staffers then began contacting Merriam-Webster, Wikipedia, The New York Times, and all other liberal news outlets, telling them to make the appropriate changes in their documentation, publications, and talking points going forward.
The new definition allows Hillary to go on the campaign trail portraying herself as a member of the middle class as opposed to someone in the top 0.01% of earners last year. Her aides were already sending out mocking tweets saying that if Mitt Romney had been as smart as they are he might be President right now.
Hillary has released a statement saying how proud she is to have surrounded herself with the best and brightest that liberal academia has to offer. No word yet as to how actual middle class Americans feel about the new classification, but Hillary says those people need to just shut up and praise God that she’s been chosen to be their champion. She further stated, “When I want to hear what the middle class thinks, I’ll hand pick a room full of my political operatives and ask them!”