by E. Williams on 24/05/15 at 7:08 am
NEW YORK CITY – (satireworld.com)
If early indications hold true, Hillary Clinton already has the coveted rapper voting bloc all sewn up. So far, Waka Flocka Flame, Ja Rule, Snoop Dogg, A$AP Rocky, and others have announced they’ll be doing all they can to get the former Secretary of State elected in 2016. Jeb Bush is said to be crushed at the revelation, fearing it will hurt his street-cred with the younger crowd.
“Willy” Waka and his Flocka Flame Factory said, “It’s cool that we got Michelle in the White House and all, but we need a bitch running the whole show, know what I’m sayin’? I’m not exactly thrilled about putting white granny in there – what we need is a Ho running the country – but we got to start somewhere, right?”
Snoop said he would offer Hillary any support he could in her quest for the Presidizzle-cy. “I’m planning on being too stoned myself to vote on Election day but I’ll try to push many of my fans to show up to make up for my skipping it.” Hillary leaned in and said, “Thanks Snoop. Cool story, bro. I consider all these upstanding men my new ‘friends with possibilities.’” Snoop nodded approvingly.
Mrs. Clinton scored a big endorsement this week when rapper 50 Cent said he was throwing his support behind her, doggy style. “It’s so nice to see the old posse coming back together,” Hillary said. “I know we’re going to be tough to beat with all my homeboyz coming back to mama. You know, Bill ran off some of these fine gentlemen back in the 90’s, he wasn’t the nicest to them, so it’s nice to see they aren’t holding grudges, especially with me not having any accomplishments!” She laughed.
“With Eminem, what’s her name? Mickey Massage? Micki, Nicki Minaj! thank you, Kanye, lil wayne, Pitbull, and Flo Rida all on board, this really ratchets up my cool factor among the little gangstas! I’m just so excited to have them on my side in this campaign and I only hope I don’t pop a whiskey dick with them after I get into office! These guys are going to need weed to be legal in all 50 the day after the election.”