Nancy ‘Pope-losi’ Calls Marco Rubio a Bad Catholic

by on 31/05/15 at 7:44 am

It really does take a special-kind-of-stupid to believe anything this woman says....

It really does take a special-kind-of-stupid to believe anything this woman says….

WASHINGTON D.C. – (satireworld.com)

As white smoke finally escaped into the blue skies from the chimney in the Capitol building this weekend, liberals everywhere cheered the election of their new religious leader, Nancy Pope-losi ( D-Delusional).  Mrs. Pope-losi has been the Democratic leader in politics since the days the dinosaurs roamed the earth but, in recent years, her religious wisdom has helped her rise to the pinnacle of liberalism and most Democrats worship her instead of any other religious deity.

Mrs. Pope-losi’s first statements after her election targeted Republican presidential hopeful, Florida senator Marco Rubio. Pope-losi blasted Rubio for not approving of same-sex marriages and called Mr. Rubio a “bad Catholic.” The real Pope of all bad Catholics, Pope Francis, shares Rubio’s views on abortion and same-sex marriage and Pope Nancy said that she pities them both.

“As most know, a bad Catholic is anyone who doesn’t share my same views on each subject,” Pope Nancy said. “It is very disheartening that Mr. Rubio and Pope Francis, as well as millions of other misguided Catholics, haven’t received the same enlightenment that those like me, Secretary of State John Kerry, and Vice-President Joe Biden have. We realize that what God really wants is for homosexuals to rule the world while we continue to slaughter as many babies in the womb as we possibly can. I don’t understand why they can’t grasp that?!”

“From this point forward, and until they come to their senses, I will not be administering communion to either Mr. Rubio or Pope Francis,” Pope-losi said. It is time for all Catholics to become “mainstream” Catholics like me, meaning that you can call yourself a Catholic but not adhere to the teachings of God, unless your god is liberalism.”

Pope-losi concluded her remarks by proudly stating some findings released this week by the U.S. Census Bureau and the pro-abortion rights Guttmacher Institute that showed the country has aborted more babies since the passage of Roe v. Wade in 1973 than the entire population of the United States in 1880. “And if we can get more of those “bad Catholics” to join us, we can abort as many babies as the population the US had in 1980!  I understand that God has His own teachings, but America is going in a different direction. I suggest the Pope and Mr. Rubio do some real soul-searching right away.”



One Response to “Nancy ‘Pope-losi’ Calls Marco Rubio a Bad Catholic”

  1. Philbert of Macadamia

    Jun 1st, 2015

    The Obama administration is to regulate how American farmers grow and harvest fruits and vegetables. This regulation is being issued because of the surplus of HORSESHIT originating from the White House, that has to be used somewhere!

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