Clinton Supporters Trying to Make Robotic Hillary Seem “More Human”

by on 10/07/15 at 6:08 am

The Hillary Humanization Ideas Keep Rolling In…. Husband Bill suggested releasing some photos of Hillary he took in 1991 when the future First Lady had too many martinis at a fundraiser in Los Angeles.

The Hillary Humanization Ideas Keep Rolling In….
Husband Bill suggested releasing some photos of Hillary he took in 1991 when the future First Lady had too many martinis at a fundraiser in Los Angeles.


Even mentioning where she stores her libido were feeble attempts to humanize Hillary

Even mentioning where she stores her libido were feeble attempts to humanize Hillary

NEW HAMPSHIRE – (satireworld.com)

Following Hillary Clinton’s recent interview with CNN’s Brianna Keilar, the Democratic candidate faced many of the same criticisms that have plagued her during her entire time in public life. The woman is just not warm, personable, and relatable, but rather a cold, calculating, conniving, power hungry witch. So Hillary supporters are on a mission to persuade the American people that Mrs. Clinton is a nice, wonderful person when she’s not in front of the camera.

Hillary volunteers have been attending workshops to learn ways to make her look more human. The workshop included an exercise in which supporters would turn to the person sitting next to them and share anecdotes about experiences they’ve had with Hillary in an attempt to help humanize her.

One female Clinton operative who attended the seminar said, “We would each tell a personal story about Hillary that is an example of the qualities about her that make her attractive as a candidate, like having boobs and a vagina, as opposed to listing a lot of policy positions. If we had to talk about her accomplishments, that would have been the shortest conversation I’ve ever had, followed by a lot of very awkward and long pauses!” she said, laughing.

The problem is that Hillary ISN’T human. At one point during the CNN interview, she started squeaking and her assistant, Huma Weiner, rushed over and used an oil can to lubricate Hillary’s mouth and shoulder sockets. At another time, as she was being asked a question, Hillary dissolved into a pool of liquid metal, slid off a few feet and then reformed in the likeness of the Terminator. Keilar said she found it very distracting the way “Hillary” kept asking, “Are you Sarah Connor?”

Then, late in the interview when she was being pestered by questions about subpoenas and missing emails, Mrs. Clinton began using blue scales to change from looking like Trey Gowdy to President Obama to Donald Trump, and then back again to her original form where she insisted her name was “Mystique,” not Hillary. “Maybe you’ve seen me in the X-Men films?” she asked Keilar.

So, making Hillary look more human to the American people? Good luck with all that.



3 Responses to “Clinton Supporters Trying to Make Robotic Hillary Seem “More Human””

  1. Bill

    Jul 10th, 2015

    She should get Chelsea’s father Janet Reno to tell of Hillary’s tender side.

  2. E. Williams

    Jul 11th, 2015

    I’ve wondered if Chelsea was the result of a Janet Reno/Webb Hubble hookup and Bill and Hill adopted.

  3. Bill

    Jul 12th, 2015

    It was Web or Howdy Doody. Can you get a DNA sample from wood? I know my “wood”
    can produce it.

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