by Molon Labe on 25/07/15 at 8:35 am
New York, NY – (satireworld.com)
Score one for The Donald !
After months of frenzied investigations and a bevy of expensive private eyes shuttling across three continents, billionaire Donald Trump claims he’s found Barack Obama’s real birth certificate and the results are not all that pretty.
According to Trump, the tattered and barely legible birth certificate is all the proof the American people need in determining the legitimacy of the Barack Obama presidency.
Trump went on describing the document’s lurid details as cameras zoomed in for a close-up of the faded and folded paper. A date of 1978 is clearly shown in the upper right hand corner showing Obama lied even about his birth date. The name on the document clearly reads…Barack Hussein Obama.
The most compelling evidence is the place of birth which reads Nairobi, Kenya and shows the signature of a Dr. Moogotoo Salamari as the attending physician who monitored the birth and recorded the document.
Strangely, the birth mother is listed as Michelle Obama, age 24.
According to Trump, Michelle isn’t Obama’s wife at all, and is really his true birth mother. Testimony from a private investigator claims he’s faked the marriage since 1992. The two children? Again, according to Trump’s investigator they’re from an agency that rents out kids.
As further proof, Trump showed a photograph of Barack and his younger brother Leroy standing together in their village in a dated 1983 photo.
Another Trump photo show’s Obama up in a palm tree dropping coconuts on Leroy’s head as the poor lad grins stupidly for the camera.
Trump also mentioned his theory and pending investigation of where the Loch Ness monster really is located, the true reason Elvis is hiding, and where Jimmy Hoffa is secretly residing.
Trump also claims he has a photo of Obama walking over the Rio Grande carrying three small Mexicans.