by E. Williams on 02/08/15 at 9:44 am
CHAPPEQUA, NY – (satireworld.com)
A new book is being released that details Bill Clinton’s current affair with a mistress called “Energizer.” I have no idea what that means. Can anybody help me out on that one? Anyway, according to the book, as soon as the Witch of Chappequa leaves their mansion, Energizer is escorted (no pun intended) into the Clinton home. Hillary doesn’t care. She is much more comfortable with her sensible shoes and the company of a woman.
Friends close to Bill say he is so giddy at the prospect of Hillary winning the presidency and him being able to go butt wild in the White House again that he hasn’t had to take his Viagra in months. They say Bill has told them there is no sex like White House sex.
“If Hillary gets in,” Bill said, “I’m going to turn the White House into ‘The Best Little Whorehouse in DC.’ And that’s saying somethin’! What’s Hillary gonna do, kick me out? Yeah, right. It’s going to be wall-to-wall p***y in that place every night. I’ll make the old Chicken Ranch down there outside of La Grange, Texas look like a church compared to what’s going to be going on at my place! Ah haw, haw, haw, haw. Just think of the airfare I’ll save by not having to fly to Orgy Island!”
When friends remind Bill that Hillary’s coronation is not automatic, as much as Mr. and Mrs. Clinton think it should be, they say Bill gets very despondent and looses his sex drive. But then they mention to him that there’s a good possibility that she could win and Bill perks up again. Bill says he’s already promised Huma that if Hillary wins next year, he will allow her husband Anthony to oversee ‘The Weiner Wing’ of the Whorehouse.
The identity of Energizer is unknown, other than she is a curvy blonde. But there is no doubt she is an experienced IT person because she’s been making a large number of house calls to work on Bill’s private server. Should Hillary win in 2016, Mr. Clinton will become the First Man, First Spouse, First Husband, or First Horndog. But he’ll tell you he prefers First Madam.