Hillary Campaign Corrects #BlackLivesMatter Members, Says “#BlackVotesMatter”

by on 15/08/15 at 8:08 am

#BlackLivesMatter folks get ready to hold Hillary accountable

#BlackLivesMatter folks get ready to hold Hillary accountable, but first they do a little ‘soft shoe’ routine for some quarters


KEENE, NH – (satireworld.com)

After getting blocked by Secret Service agents while trying to enter Hillary Clinton’s latest rally in this town, members of #BlackLivesMatter contacted the campaign and were granted a brief face-to-face meeting with the Queen of the Democratic Party. Afterwards, the group was wishing they hadn’t bothered.

They had initially planned on crashing the party while Mrs. Clinton was speaking, just like their brethren had done recently at a Bernie Sanders event in Seattle. Unsure if they would be able to storm the stage like the people in Seattle did because Mrs. Clinton has Secret Service protection, the group had planned on at least shouting over Hillary while she was speaking onstage, and doing the best they could to disrupt the rally in hopes of getting face time in the press for their efforts.

Instead of getting to hijack the event, several members were escorted backstage after Hillary had finished delivering her remarks and were granted just a few minutes in the presence of the Queen. As the members peppered her with remarks about how important the #BlackLivesMatter movement is, Hillary interrupted the noisy bunch and said, “Look. I appreciate where you people are coming from. But from where I’m sitting? Right here, running for President? Black votes matter. In fact, that should be the name of a democratic group.”

At that point, she turned to her assistant, Huma Weiner, and said, “Contact the trademark people and see if we can register #BlackVotesMatter. Then meet with some of our staff and let’s brainstorm about ways to create a grassroots organization with that name.” She then turned back to the agitated activists and said, “I’m sorry, what were you carrying on about?”

The group, looking shocked at the Queen’s comments, continued going on and on about what they were all about and then stopped abruptly when they saw Mrs. Clinton roll her eyes at them. “Oh, hell no! You did not just roll your white bread eyes at us!” One of the activists angrily shouted. To which Hillary shut the conversation down by saying, “Hey! I’m just as upset as you all are about the death of Michael Brown. His death cost me a vote!” And with that remark, Secret Service and Clinton campaign staff swooped in and told the #BLM group that the meeting was over and whisked Hillary away.

As they exited, the #BLM people were overheard saying, “Can you believe that bitch? What a waste of time. We could have been looting a store or blocking traffic on an interstate instead of being here. That chick is whack!”



One Response to “Hillary Campaign Corrects #BlackLivesMatter Members, Says “#BlackVotesMatter””

  1. Philbert of Macadamia

    Aug 15th, 2015

    King Barack Obama has ordered the EPA to monitor methane levels at land fills. This sudden move is to shift the media attention away from the toxic material spill in Colorado caused by the EPA.

    Empress Michelle told the king to stop eating beans in the White House or EPA Administrator Gina McCarty will invite herself over for a visit and be on his butt with a methane meter!

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