Trump Vows to Eradicate #BLM During First 100 Days in Office

by on 04/09/15 at 5:04 pm

Harry Callahan says he'll come out of retirement to clean up the 'punk problem.'

Harry Callahan says he’ll come out of retirement to clean up the ‘punk cockroach problem.’


Donald Trump today made an announcement at a campaign event that has his poll numbers skyrocketing. Trump told a crowd of thousands that if elected president he would put an end to the out-of-control #BlackLivesMatter movement. The crowd cheered enthusiastically as he went on to discuss strategies for eradicating the hate group.

“Let me be clear! This I vow to you. As president, I will do away, once and for all, with this scourge of hatemongers that have declared open season on our wonderful men and women in law enforcement. They think they can get away with threatening those who serve and protect us? We will hit them back so hard they won’t know why they started the group in the first place.”

Trump then mentioned things he would do to get rid of the racial cancer of our time. “First, we will give them one week to quit on their own. Then, we will go after those who continue to terrorize our country. Any person who makes threats against a cop, I will instruct law enforcement to “tag ’em and bag ’em,” then throw them in jail. And they’ll stay there for a good, long while.”

“These are societal roaches,” Trump continued, “So we will set traps for them, and we will fumigate when necessary. Trust me, they’ll scatter. Also, Obama has given these heathens legitimacy by inviting their leaders to the White House. No #BLM people will ever set foot in a Trump White House, I can guarantee you that! You notice none of them are here today trying to disrupt this event. They know better.” The audience roared in approval.

“In closing, let me just say that black lives do matter. But not at the expense of other lives. We have had enough and, if you elect me president, their days will be numbered! Thank you all very much. Thank you.” (insert standing ovation)

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