Biden Accidentally Announces Run For Speaker of the House

by on 22/10/15 at 6:49 am

Crazy Uncle Joe Biden

Crazy Uncle Joe Biden might want to cut back on the wine before speaking


Vice-President Joe Biden confused supporters today when he announced that he was running for Speaker of the House, instead of seeking the presidency. Aides thought the 74 year-old Democratic dinosaur was joking at first, until they remembered who was speaking.

The job of Speaker of the House would be a step down for the Vice-President, who admits he has always felt unnerved about being a heartbeat away from being presidency and thought he would be more comfortable being two heartbeats away from the position.

After Biden made the mistaken announcement to a stunned crowd, and spoke about his goals for the position for several minutes, an aide walked over to Mr. Biden and whispered in his ear that he had intended to announce his run for the presidency. “Well, I knew I was running for something,” he said.

“I’m not going to run for president!” a surprised Biden said. He apologized to the crowd for the confusion but still insisted he would be a darn fine Speaker. Biden’s announcement came after an earlier announcement that now has America adrift and searching for its footing again after Democratic candidate Jim Webb dropped his bid for the presidency. Webb had been polling at around 1%, but was expected to catch fire any day and be the biggest threat to Hillary’s coronation.

The Democratic field is in total disarray following the Biden misfire and the Webb withdrawal. Biden said he might even decide to tell Hillary that he would be happy to stay on as her Vice-President. “I love it! Vice-Presidents don’t have to do anything. It’s the greatest job in the world.”

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