by E. Williams on 24/11/15 at 6:34 amWASHINGTON – (satireworld.com)
President Obama, tired of hearing critics “pop off” about his plan to import tens of thousands of future Democratic voters from Syria, is trying to allay fears that the vetting process for incoming refugees is not adequate enough. He said the process need not be made more complicated by Congress.
“For all those who don’t realize that I know better than they do, I’d like to just say, ‘Chill, the database that we will use to vet, register, and track Syrian refugees that come here is being designed by the same folks who did such a masterful job on Obamacare’s healthcare.gov website. I got this.’ You ask any American and they will tell you they remember how smoothly and successfully that roll out went, and you can expect that same level of competence, reliability, and governmental expertise that we exhibited with that program.”
Obama insists the new database will be able to handle the information obtained by his Obamacare navigators, who will also be charged with working directly with the refugees. Instead of asking a bunch of tiresome questions and wasting time on background checks, the vetting process will consist of only one question to each refugee: “Will you be voting strictly Democrat for as long as you live in America?”
If the new arrival answers ‘YES,’ he or she will be welcomed into America and showered with government entitlements. If they answer ‘NO,’ they will immediately be targeted by the IRS. The president also said Hillary Clinton will be involved with the database due to her mad computer skills and strict attention to quality control of vital records.
When asked why liberals are so concerned with strict background checks for people who purchase a gun, but seem so lax about vetting what could potentially be a sizable number of people who would like to cause death and destruction to the American people, Mr. Obama said, “Because guns can’t vote.”