by Queen of Bedlam on 05/12/15 at 5:55 am
Aleppo, Syria – (SatireWorld.com)
In the largest city in western Syria, ISIS declared today as the official "Eat A Turd For Mohammed Day." Swarming into the city and nearby villages the armed ISIS fighters forced inhabitants to consume plates of turds at gunpoint in order to show their"true submission to Mohammed"….said Ziki Al-Ghabouni, a spokesman for the ISIS.
"It's not bad if there's enough corn in it," claimed village elder Ramoud Farsi, age 54, who wanly smiled a toothless grin for the ISIS camera as an old Russian AK-47 was pushed menacing against his back. Others in the village felt the same, as scores of armed, dark bearded men took turns in dusty back rooms filling small plates for villagers throughout the small enclave. The celebration went on for over four hours until swarms of green-headed flies caused the ISIS troops to move to higher ground much to the relief of those at the very back of the line.
Started in 2006 as part of 'put your trust in Allah with remarkable deeds,' the Eat-A-Turd for Mohammed Day is the brainchild of Gazhi Al Boutmoub, a regional ISIS commander in the Walishiri sector of northern Pakistan.
For his innovative and courageous efforts, Al Boutmoub was awarded the prestigious Mohammed Medal consisting of two camels under a star and crescent moon. When asked about the meaning of the representations inscribed on the medal, no one actually knew, but one ISIS official claimed the 'Grand Sheik' designed it by drawing it in the sand with his sword.
Plans for next year’s celebration are already underway. According to ISIS sources, a parade is planned which will include extravagant military-themed floats, a full cadre of virgin twirlers, the ISIS Community College Marching Band, and a demonstration by the feared ISIS Beheading Team who’ll perform on stage.
Tickets can be purchased in advance by calling 1-888-982-7710