Justice Clarence Thomas Utters Shocking First Word in Decade

by on 01/03/16 at 10:01 am

Friends are saying......Just moments before, Judge Thomas received a photo on his phone from his wife.

Friends are saying he was distracted and pinched his fingers trying to conceal his iPhone screen……It seems just moments before, Judge Thomas received a photo on his phone from his wife wishing him a happy birthday.


WASHINGTON D.C. – (satireworld.com)

Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas opened his mouth for the first time in over ten years today while the Court was hearing arguments in a gun case. The utterance shocked and surprised everyone present.

An attorney who had just finished making some remarks was returning to her chair when the silence of the courtroom was broken by a very loud and emphatic “Motherf*cker!” coming from Justice Thomas.

Thomas has a reputation for making his decisions based on the written word and never asks questions or says anything in court. Apparently, Thomas had gotten one of his fingers pinched in between his chair and the one next to him when shifting in his seat.

The pain caught him off guard and he let loose. The other justices turned to see who it was that shouted the obscenity and several of them broke into laughter when they realized it was Thomas. Thomas was embarrassed, but figured since he had already broken his silent streak, he would add a “Son of a bitch!” a little softer, as he rubbed his throbbing finger.

“I thought it was a joke,” Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said. “At first, I thought it was Justice Alito because he’s our resident prankster. But it did snap me out of my nap.”

Chief Justice Roberts said he wished the late Justice Scalia had been there to witness the outburst. “He would have had a big laugh over that one. But I’m sure wherever he is, he heard it.”

Clerks at the Court called Justice Thomas’s wife to tell her that her husband had finally spoken after so many years, to which Mrs. Thomas, not buying it, said, “Bullshit.”



2 Responses to “Justice Clarence Thomas Utters Shocking First Word in Decade”

  1. Bargis

    Mar 1st, 2016

    good one!

  2. E. Williams

    Mar 2nd, 2016

    Thank you sir!

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