Hillary Clinton Becomes First Cyborg to Win Nomination of Major Party

by on 09/06/16 at 2:15 pm

Meanwhile Bill gets ready for the yearly White House intern interviews......

Meanwhile Bill gets ready for the yearly White House intern interviews……


NEW YORK – (satireworld.com)

The mainstream media nearly had a collective orgasm as Hillary Clinton became the first robot to win the nomination of one of the two main parties in American politics. Clinton, a first generation cyborg, will represent the soulless Democratic Party in the November election, unless the FBI pulls the plug on her before then.

Simon Parker, Director of the Robotics Institute in Pittsburgh, explains the significance of Clinton’s victory in this primary cycle. “First of all, with Hillary being an emotionless, hollow android, and following in the footsteps of the Obama presidency, it proves that Democrats will elect ANYTHING to represent them in Washington.”

“Having said that, for the robotics world, her victory is pretty sweet. I admit the development of robots with a humanoid form is in its infancy as far as what we can program them to do, but it’s a start.”

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“The Hillary cyborg is fairly basic. We can make her open her mouth as wide as possible and randomly point at things, nod her head repeatedly, and accept money. Beyond that, she can pretty much just regurgitate talking points over and over after we upload them.”

“When she disappears from the campaign trail for a few days at a time, it’s usually for scheduled maintenance or to make a repair. Last week, we had to tweak her hydraulics system a little.”

Parker said he’s hopeful that as the technology advances, cyborgs like Hillary will be able to show emotion, develop reason, possess a rudimentary understanding of right and wrong, and learn to look at humans as their equals, rather than disgusting insects like the Hillary model does.



3 Responses to “Hillary Clinton Becomes First Cyborg to Win Nomination of Major Party”

  1. Bargis

    Jun 9th, 2016

    …….who has to change her batteries?

  2. Captain america

    Jun 12th, 2016

    Somebody got her crossed wired!!

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