FBI Recommends Electric Chair Over Hillary Clinton’s Email Debacle

by on 02/07/16 at 4:14 pm

Hillary friends are saying that the reality has finally began to sink in....

Hillary friends are saying that the reality has finally began to sink in….

Special gent Spicoli says most agents are recommending the electric chair.

Special agent Spicoli says most agent dudes are recommending the electric chair as a justified form of punishment. When asked he curtly replied…”Whoa dude! First Crispy Critter President makes history books Mr. Fish.”

Authorities say it would be more economical and better for the environment if the electric was used.

Authorities say it would be more economical and better for the environment if the new solar powered electric chair at Leavenworth Federal Penetentiary was used.

Displaying the cankles that made her famous, Hilary waves to supporters as she left the FBI interrogation chamber on Saturday

Displaying the cankles that made her famous, Hillary waves to supporters as she leaves the FBI interrogation chamber on Saturday

Labor boss RIchard Trumpka has rallied union members to protest the use of non-coal powered electric as a show of solidarity for union miners.

Labor boss Richard Trumpka has rallied union members to protest the use of non-coal powered electric as a show of solidarity for union miners.

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com)

Washingtonian’s eyes have gotten bigger after federal agents grilled Hillary Clinton Saturday morning over her use of a private server for her email while she served as Secretary of State.

Clinton voluntarily met with investigators at FBI Headquarters in Washington for ten and a half hours to answer questions in an ongoing probe of whether she communicated classified information through a personal email address.

Campaign spokesman said she was “pleased to have the opportunity” to assist with the inquiry in a statement, though ‘pleased’ was rather a stretch as to how the former First Lady really felt.

The FBI has been probing whether Clinton and her aides broke the law in setting up the private server while she served in the Obama administration. Investigators have determined the server relayed 110 classified messages. Some of which were hacked by Russia, China, and the 3rd grade civics class at PS 101 in the Bronx who used an antique Tandy 100 computer with a floppy disk.

Special Agent James Comey announced on Tuesday that Clinton won’t be recommended for prosecution, but strongly suggested using the Federal death penalty anyway.

Agents later quantified rumors that the death penalty for this case has been frequently mentioned in recent weeks and as some rumors have it, was discussed in Phoenix between Bill Clinton and the Attorney General at a secret meeting on Secretary Lynch’s private jet. According to those present, Bill Clinton went ‘off the record’ when he mentioned his support for really just using lethal injection as he didn’t want photos of Hillary looking like Southern Fried Chicken being plastered all over the Daily Mail.

In other news, Bernie Sanders said today that in lieu of breaking news, his campaign is rethinking it’s anti-capital punishment stand and might promote more renewal energy sources in the instance of convictions for those who threaten national security.



One Response to “FBI Recommends Electric Chair Over Hillary Clinton’s Email Debacle”

  1. Philbert of Macadamia

    Jul 2nd, 2016

    Hillary Clinton would lierally be “grilled!”

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