Alt-Left Demands Racist Mt.Rushmore Be Censored and Destroyed

by on 16/08/17 at 12:15 pm

Army Blackhawk helicopters were ordered to block the offensive faces of America's heroes.

Army Blackhawk helicopters were ordered to block the offensive faces of America’s heroes.

An Alternate Left group who calls itself 'AMERICAN HEROES' first proposed turning the mountain around so visitors would be spared the sight of seeing Jefferson and Washington, both owned slaves.

An Alternate Left group who calls itself ‘AMERICAN HEROES’ first proposed turning the mountain around so visitors would be spared the sight of seeing Jefferson and Washington, both owned slaves. The idea was nixed as the costs were prohibitive.

Black Hills, SD – (SatireWorld.com)

Federal workers announced an escalated the war by the shadowy Alternate Leftist group Antifa whose activists have demanded Civil War statues be removed and all history be re-written in a manner that soothes anyone’s hurt feelings.

At 8AM this coming Sunday, Army helicopters, supported by park rangers, will lower a 3 ton sheet of opaque plastic over the heads of Washington, Lincoln, Roosevelt, and Jefferson in an attempt that will certainly cause emotional distress on park visitors, many who drove thousands of miles to see one of America’s landmarks. Alternate Left Antifa spokesman Harry Ligget says both Washington and Jefferson were immoral citizens who owned slaves over 200 years ago. According to Ligget, the next item on the agenda is to burn the Hermitage, the historic home of Andrew Jackson.

Dorothy Figgs, age 68, says she drove all the way from New Jersey to see the sights in and around Mt Rushmore National Park. Now, she’ll drive back with a handful of post card photos and a few ticket stubs from visiting a stupid carnival. Figgs, who says she’s a lifelong Democrat, had this to say, “It’s these dreadful alt-left assholes fault! They’re the ones with a wild hair up their asses over this history stuff!”

In recent days since the government lawsuits by , were filed similar events have taken place at landmarks across the 50 states. In Florida, the stature of Ponce Deleon was defaced by a night time visit by anarchists. Along scenic routes that bordered federal historic monuments, barricades were erected to block the views of passing motorists.

In New York harbor, a smoke generator aboard a Coast Guard cutter obscured the view of the Statue of Liberty and Governor’s Island after activists claimed the historic Lady and her lamp was a reminder to illegal aliens of Trump’s racist immigration policy.

Several park and wildlife officials have openly complained that the Administration ordered them to ‘be as rough and nasty as you can be’ when it came to handling parks with significant historical ties and the closures.

Senior Park Ranger Les Finebaum is worried and disgusted as as well. Not over the demands of alt-left operatives, but by callous way they demand action because of hurt feelings. He is also worried about the email he received that ordered two thousand park workers and rangers to report to the north rim of the Grand Canyon with shovels because someone claimed it was ‘stolen’ from native Americans.

More news at 11 !



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