Record Winter Cold Has Al Gore Worried As Book and Movie Profits Crumble

by on 23/01/14 at 8:57 am

Al Gore's zero carbon use house...Of course he doesn't live there! It's just an example on how he feels YOU should live while he plays around in his 17,000 square foot home complete with 30 tons of A/C..A heated olympic-sized pool...and is guarded by a fleet of armored automobiles and armed guards.

Al Gore’s zero carbon use house is an Alaskan igloo…Of course he doesn’t live there! It’s just an example on how he feels YOU should live while he plays around in his 17,000 square foot Tennessee home complete with 30 tons of A/C..A heated olympic-sized pool…and is guarded by a fleet of armored automobiles and armed guards.

Nashville, TN- (satireworld.com)

Frustrated over seeing his environmental influence being challenged by a series of deep cold winter storms that have people scrambling to keep warm in almost every state, ex-vice president and perennial sore loser Al Gore is at a loss for words and has gone into hiding somewhere on his 77,000 acre Tennessee estate.

People who believed in the environmental message promoted by ‘Green Al’ are now questioning whether Gore was telling the truth about ‘Carbon Credits…’Going Green’…And ‘Energy Conservation’ as millions struggle to keep their homes warm by using solar panels mounted on their rooftops.

According to Bill Grimm of Johnston, PA….”What did I do? I bought a cheesy solar panel get up for about twelve grand because Gore said I would have a payback in a few years with the energy saved. At this rate, it will be 2077 before I see a dime!”

In upstate New York, Mary Henfreed claims it was the stupidest thing she’s ever done. “See up there on my roof. It’s up there alright, about twenty solar panels buried under 2 feet of damn snow! Let me get this straight. Solar panels need sunlight to make electricity. I need electricity to keep warm in the winter. When it gets cold up here in upstate New York it gets cloudy and snows…What’s wrong with this picture?”

In Brighton Minnesota the story is about the same according to Lester Goodman. “I went out to buy some light bulbs. We used the last of the ones we bought several years ago and all there were in Ace hardware were fluorescent bulbs promising lower fuel costs and compatibility with our fixtures. I bought several boxes but thought they were awfully darn expensive. Now, when our Minnesota winter temperatures hit -20 degree Fahrenheit, all my outside fluorescent lights flicker!”

Gore has come under attack by a growing cadre of scientists who debunk the man-made global warming theory which has had its share of faulty science and hyped consequences. Gore has even come under attack for his own energy consumption, most recently for his mansion in Montecito, Calif., which has 6,500 square feet of living space and a swimming pool with fountains. He also made headlines for his exorbitant energy consumption at his 10,000-square-foot Nashville home which is now soley occupied by Gore since his wife left him and filed divorce last year.

Staffers have supported rumors that Al Gore is living on his estate in Tennessee in an igloo he built from the snow that has fallen during the past several months. In Nashville, experts claim this year’s total snow fall accumulation should exceed 34 feet and they hope Gore gets buried alive because of all his global warming crapola.

In other Gore-related news, ex-wife Tipper says she has a few tips for ex-hubby ‘Fat Al’ while he’s living in the igloo….”Instead of writing your name in the snow…Write a book you turd bucket!”

EDITORS NOTE: We think Al should liberally coat that Academy Award Oscar for best documentary with vaseline and shove where the sun doesn’t shine



2 Responses to “Record Winter Cold Has Al Gore Worried As Book and Movie Profits Crumble”

  1. Philbert of Macadamia

    Jan 23rd, 2014

    Man made global warming mathematical models didn’t predict that the Earth’s temperature has been flat for 14 years, that sea ice is increasing in some parts of the world and 150 years of climate measurements are not sufficient when the earth has been around for billions of years.

    When ocean modelers found that their mathematical models didn’t match ocean data, they changed the algorithms to concur, as Mother Nature is usually correct!

  2. captain america

    Jan 24th, 2014

    ….the ‘new math’ plugged by Obama’s ‘common corpse’ (sic)

    when last seen, Al was running around naked ‘pounding snow’…

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