Russia To Annex Earth’s Moon

by on 13/04/14 at 3:29 pm

According to Roszkin, a Soyuz craft will land with a flag and some vodka and claim the moon as part of the Russian sphere of influence.

According to Russian space agency head, Dmitry Rogozin, a Soyuz craft will land with a flag and some vodka then claim the moon as part of the Russian sphere of influence.

Moscow – Russian Space Agency

Russian Deputy Prime Minister Dmitry Rogozin announced on Friday that the nation plans to carve out an area of operations on the moon citing, “We saw the moon first and it belongs to us!”

According to Voice of Russia, Rogozin explained to government daily Rossiiskaya Gazeta on Friday that,” since Russia saw the moon first in 10,000 BC, it doesn’t make much sense to keep making trips back and forth.” Instead, Rogozin says, Moscow will plan on annexing moon then establishing a permanent base on the moon, which could mean that as its sole human occupants they’d essentially be in control up there. Issue their own currency, drill for gas, and control housing construction.

“It would hardly be rational to make some ten or twenty flights to the moon, and then wind it all up and fly to Mars or some asteroids,” Rogozin explained, according to the Voice of Russia translation. The plan follows the same logic as leaving a toothbrush and extra-clothes at your boyfriend’s place so you can go straight out, with the difference that this will presumably cost billions of dollars. Rogozin added, “We’ll save billions of hard cash plus, make the greenies happy by not polluting the atmosphere with rocket soot stuff.”

This actually isn’t the first time that Rogozin has floated the idea of a such a project. As Reuters reported back in 2012, the deputy prime minister told Russian radio that he wanted to “have a big super goal that could pull forward science,” which led to him asking “why not try to build a big station on the Moon that would be a base for future ‘leaps’ of science?”

In 2001 Rogozin wanted to land a manned Soyuz spacecraft on the sun, but when his science advisor cautioned him about the extremely high temperatures, he shocked reporters when he said it would strictly be a night time mission and it would be of little concern.

While the Russian moon project sounds extremely costly and pretty unfeasible as far as, past attempts by RussiNS TO Land a man on the moon, Ice President Joe Biden says that Deputy PM Rogozin is in charge of the Russian aerospace program and ‘knows a thing or two about rockets’ thus could realistically try to make this thing happen.

If it’s anything like Russia’s penchant for invading little guys, expect to hear a lot about moon-appeasement from the left should Russia manage to annex a piece of lunar territory. It was only last week when Rogozin expressed sympathy for ‘Russian-speaking moon men’ who he said are decendents of those who immigrated there in 1958 when Premier Nikita Kruschev had a ‘secret space plane’ which landed Soviet pioneers on the dark side of the moon so no one would see. He claims they had ‘real good camping equipment’ and ate alot of cheese.

Hopefully, NASA has a space suit helmet that will fit John Kerry’s head.

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