Winter Weather Frustrates Al Gore After Record Cold Snap Breaks 100 Year Records

by on 28/02/15 at 1:27 pm

Al Gore's summer home. See the solar panels? Neither do we.

Al Gore’s summer home. See the solar panels? Neither do we.

Nashville, TN- (satireworld.com)

Frustrated over seeing his environmental influence being challenged by a wave after wave of extreme cold winter storms that have people scrambling to keep warm in almost every state, ex-vice president and perennial sore loser, Al Gore is at a loss for words and has gone into hiding somewhere on his 7,000 acre Tennessee estate.

People who believed in the environmental message promoted by ‘Green Al’ are now questioning whether Gore was telling the truth about ‘Carbon Credits’ …’Going Green’… ‘Energy Conservation’ as millions struggle to keep their homes warm by using expensive solar panels mounted on their rooftops.

According to Bill Grimm of Johnston, Pa, ”What did I do? I bought a cheesy Al Gore solar panel get-up for about twelve grand because Gore said I’d have a payback in a few years with the energy saved. At this rate, it will be 2077 before I see a dime!”

In upstate New York, Mary Henfreed claims it was the stupidest thing she’s ever done. “See up there on my roof. It’s up there alright, about twenty solar panels buried under 4 feet of snow. Let me get this straight. Solar panels need sunlight to make electricity. I need electricity to keep warm in the winter. When it gets cold up here in upstate New York it gets cloudy and it snows…What’s wrong with this picture?”

In Brighton Minnesota the story is about the same according to Lester Goodman. “I went out to buy some light bulbs. We used the last of the ones we bought several years ago and all there were in Ace hardware were these nine-dollar fluorescent bulbs promising lower fuel costs and compatibility with our fixtures. I bought several boxes but thought they were awfully darn expensive. Now, when our Minnesota winter temperatures hit -20 degree Fahrenheit, all my outside fluorescent lights flicker like a disco dance floor!”

Gore has come under attack by a growing cadre of scientists who debunk the man-made global warming theory which has had its share of faulty voo-doo science and hyped consequences.

Gore has even come under attack for his own personal energy consumption, most recently for his mansion in Montecito, Calif., which has 6,500 square feet of living space and a swimming pool with fountains. He also made headlines for his exorbitant energy consumption at his 10,000-square-foot Nashville home which is now soley occupied by Gore since his wife left him and filed divorce several years back after husband Al wanted her to use a solar-powered dildo in place of her plutonium-powered model.

Staffers have supported the long running rumors that Al Gore is living on his estate in Tennessee in an igloo he built from the snow that has fallen during the past several weeks. In Nashville, experts claim this year’s total snow fall accumulation should exceed 34 feet and they hope Gore gets buried alive because of all his global warming crapola.

In other Gore-related news, ex-wife Tipper says she has a few tips for ex-hubby Al while he’s living in the igloo……”Instead of writing your name in the snow, write me that alimony check please”



One Response to “Winter Weather Frustrates Al Gore After Record Cold Snap Breaks 100 Year Records”

  1. Philbert of Macadamia

    Feb 28th, 2015

    Let’s not forget Al Gore the “Green Environmental Guru” sold his TV company to a nasty fossil fuel producing Arab country, saying “I never let the environment stand in the way of me making money.”

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