by Optic Nerve on 02/03/15 at 9:22 am
North Korea, (satireworld.com)
Life of the Party, and Chairman for Life, Kim Jong -Un announced to the world that the DPNK will set off a 100 megaton nuclear warhead on the surface of the moon sometime this year. The nuclear device will be delivered using a Long Dong military ICBM and will target the mostly uninhabited Mons Delphi region of the moon.
‘Dear Leader Junior’ mentioned that the explosion actually would adhere to the various United Nation’s atmospheric testing bans in place simply because the Moon hasn’t an atmosphere to pollute and of course, no one will be bothered by the noise anyway. He promised to reveal the results of the blast with a full documentary film directed by himself.
North Korean Supreme Air Marshall Kim Tu-bong said, ” the test will illuminate the surface with the peaceful intentions of the North Korean People, and will send shudders of fear down all capitalist running dogs and their puppet flunkies in the south.”
Marshall Kim Tu-bong was criticized last year when he vowed to launch a nuclear-tipped missle at the sun even though he was advised by all leading western scientists that the weapon would burn up in the sun’s fiery heat. Tu-Bong casually remarked that it couldn’t happen since the North Koreans were “smarter than that” and planned to launch it at night.
The Long Dong rocket has a capacity to reach the US west coast if launched from the North Korean site and is within its means to strike the Moon’s surface if the North decides to launch, says senior Pentagon officials who cautioned the North Koreans that such an action might provoke US interests on the lunar surface.
Chairman and proverial ‘little guy,’ Kim Jong-un, said he’s postpone the launch if the west sends him 4 billion tons of grain, 77 super tankers full of refined oil, and around $100 billion dollars in unmarked bills. A few cases of Remy cognac and several Pam Anderson DVDs would be nice too!