by Queen of Bedlam on 20/12/16 at 6:34 am
Copenhagen – (SatireWorld.com)
Esteemed scientist and 2008 Nobel Science Award recipient, Dr. Newton J. Blather, issued a startling warning to people everywhere concerning disturbing events he has recorded over the past year…Women and their vaginas around the world are cooling down due to global warming.
“Once, 98.6 to 100 deg F was considered a normal temperature for a women’s vagina, but today, temperatures of 72 – 56 deg F are fairly common!” Claims Dr. Blather.
Last year, a double-blind test was administered to over 2,000 Montreal University females in which Dr. Blather inserted a thermometer and recorded their vagina temperatures for up to three hours daily for six weeks.
In 1,994 women the temperature hovered between 70 deg F and 82 deg F! The other six women scored above 98.6 deg F and were immediately dated by Dr. Blather for, as he put it, further enhanced studies.
Global warming expert Al Gore contributed to the report with a report of his own in which he confirms Dr. Blather’s findings, “Yes, I totally agree…My ex-wife Tipper’s cooter had been below zero for 15 years!”
Dr. Blather also conducted tests for the National Science Foundation in Washington, DC. His findings were similar except when he tested Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Hillary Clinton….Both had vagina temperatures well below freezing!
Doctors everywhere have added credence to the report by remarking over the increase of blue balled male patients who have all the classic symptoms of early frost bite on their genitals.
Doctor Blather will be traveling to Hollywood to test celebrity vaginas and to publish the reports about famous women’s internal vagina temperatures.