Monday’s Solar Eclipse ‘A Kick Up The Ass’ For America’s Anal Bleaching Profession

by on 17/08/17 at 9:13 am

Los Angeles, California – (SatireWorld.com)

Astrologers studying Monday’s upcoming solar eclipse are bullish about the impact on West Coast anal skin lightening facilities according to an authoritative op ed.

The staff of writers for SatireWorld give their version of a moon eclipse to a passing AMTRAK train heading to Washington, DC.

The staff of writers for SatireWorld give their version of a ‘moon eclipse’ to a passing AMTRAK train heading to Washington, DC.

LA Vegan Labiaplasty Magazine’s tutorial is reassuring readers that the 29-degrees Leo sun-moon conjunction sits comfortably on the star chart of salons devoted to brightening up ass holes sorely in need of daylight.

“Uh, eclipses remind us of cosmic apertures,” the publication’s online star gazer commented, “connecting everything to where the sun don’t shine.”

The surgical rag regards Los Angeles’ anal bleaching professionals as ultimate exponents of cosmically-aligned procedures that soar in popularity according to planetary phases.

During last year’s occluded Sun-Uranus transit a record four million Californians logged on to its proctology advice column about the effect of meteorites on congenital haemorrhoids – including perspectives of the lactose-intolerant deemed allergic to asshole-whitening yoghurt balms.

Catch a glimpse of Monday’s rare solar occultation by clicking right HERE for a ringside view.



2 Responses to “Monday’s Solar Eclipse ‘A Kick Up The Ass’ For America’s Anal Bleaching Profession”

  1. O'Leg Pee

    Aug 21st, 2017

    CHurch of Holy Sphincter:

    Churchgoers praise pastor’s wife for bleaching vagrants off sidewalk
    http://nypost.com/2017/08/21/churchgoers-praise-pastors-wife-for-bleaching-vagrants-off-sidewalk/

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