Feds Admit Congressional Intelligence Breech Due To Alien UFO Link

by on 12/11/17 at 9:08 am

During a speech in 2001, a flurry of on-camera blinks by Pelosi released scores of monkeys from a local zoo.

During a speech in 2001, a flurry of on-camera blinks by Pelosi released scores of monkeys from a local zoo.

Pelosi spent several months in a California 'rest home' where she was subjected to vigorous deprogramming and up to twenty Epsom salt  and margharita enemas.

Pelosi spent several months in a California ‘rest home’ where she was subjected to vigorous deprogramming and up to twenty Epsom salt and margharita enemas.

NSA Headquarters, Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com)

Agents at the NSA have finally broken an ultra secret code that thwarted the intelligence agency for almost 25 years. The suspected breach of national security was discovered during a review of a Congressional speech that was televised in 1985. The 45 minute speech was given by Congresswomen Nancy Pelosi of California as she addressed the Congressional Investigative Committee for Unidentified Flying Objects (CICUFO).

Sharp-eyed agents noticed the rapid and often erratic blinking of the congresswoman’s eyes and fed the sequences into a Cray super computer. The results showed it to be a similar flashing light code used by hovering UFO flying saucers first recorded in 1949 and again in the Spielberg movie, Close Encounters of the Third Kind.

Special agent William Fisk showed reporters how the blinking eye code reflected the playing of a Beatles Rubber Soul album backwards as the prime code source. Once the two codes were inter-played a secret message was revealed.

Tracing back all recorded Pelosi Blinks, the agency was able to piece together some flash transmission messages from the last 25 years:

April 1989: ‘It’s either hot in here or I’m hitting menopause.’

February 1991: ‘Bill Clinton wants me to have sex with him according to a note I received at lunch.’

June 1996: ‘I really have to take a dump bad and this interview is lasting forever!’

September 1999: ‘These shoes are killing me.’

When all the code words are strung together, agents feel Pelosi was contacting a UFO Mother Ship and directing them to add special poisons to the world’s drinking water supply. Pelosi will be forced to wear dark glasses when addressing Congress from now on.



One Response to “Feds Admit Congressional Intelligence Breech Due To Alien UFO Link”

  1. Philbert of Macadamia

    Nov 12th, 2017

    …………………or Pelosi could just be suffreing from Democratic diarrhea. of the mouth!

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