Popular Salad Dressing Dramatically Changes Spokane Man’s Life

by on 11/02/18 at 2:52 pm

Salad is off the menu for

Salad is off the menu for Pietro

Anthony claims after about ten minutes from when he had his Zesty Italian Salad Dressing on his bowl of spinach leaves, he felt a tingling feeling and started fondling his best friend Buck who immediately freaked out blackening Anthony’s right eye with a punch.

Anthony claims after about ten minutes from when he had his Zesty Italian Salad Dressing on his bowl of spinach leaves, he felt a tingling feeling and started fondling his best friend Buck who immediately freaked out blackening Anthony’s right eye with a punch.

Spokane, WA – (SatireWorld.com)

It started out as a simple picnic in Twin Falls Park when Anthony ‘Rocco’ Pietro felt different than when he first arrived at the picnic area. That’s what lawyers are saying in a recent lawsuit filed against Krafty Foods where they claim Krafty’s Zesty Italian Salad Dressing made their client into an instant homosexual.

Pietro, age 26, claims beforehand he did all kinds of manly things like playing football, going hunting with his friends from high school, doing roofing work, and dating girls with big tits. “Now, all I do is girly things like shape my eyebrows, pluck hair from my chest, and watch HGTV on television all the time. I’m a mess!”

Pietro’s lawyers agree and are asking $100 million dollars in damages from the food giant. “Our client suffered greatly because of this. All he thinks about are men in tight shorts and how he’ll tell his Mom that the salad dressing she packed in his lunch basket caused him to cross over to the dark side.”

Others have come forward saying they had similar results after consuming Krafty salad products. Several are also within the same age group and hadn’t had homosexual tendencies prior to eating the Krafty product.

Fitness guru Richard Simmons, who says he’s on the late side of twenty, says the first time he had some Zesty Italian was at an Italian restaurant where he claims he woke up cuddled in server Salvatore Gucchi’s lap while both were naked!

Another popular personality who supports Pietro’s claim is Hairdresser-to-the-Stars, David Torso who says a Zesty Italian ‘popped his cherry’ back in 1978.

Biker ‘Rumble’ Reilly says a weird thing happened to him last year when he only accidentally spilled a bottle of Zesty Italian down ‘Mad Dog’ Henry’s back at a biker BBQ. “Once I tried wiping the stuff off Mad Dog’s back he gets all moonie-eyed and starts grabbing my crotch! Good thing I had my leathers on and he couldn’t feel my junk!”

A court date is set for early fall.



One Response to “Popular Salad Dressing Dramatically Changes Spokane Man’s Life”

  1. O’Leg Pee

    Feb 13th, 2018

    OMG, ‘Pietro’ a dead ringer for suspected pervert at Barking, Isle of Dogs, London thrift shop run by foreign aid-for-sex abuse charity Oxfam

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