NASA Reports Woman’s Body Discovered on Earth’s Moon

by on 27/08/18 at 4:11 pm

Alice (standing-left-rear) serves her bus driver husband Ralph a bottle of wine shortly before her disappearance. According to NASA records, the fledgling space agency contacted Kramden (seated-right) in 1957 asking for his advice on putting a 'human into orbit.' Kramden declined to elaborate when interviewed.

Alice (standing-left-rear) serves her bus driver husband Ralph a bottle of wine shortly before her disappearance. According to NASA records, the fledgling space agency contacted Kramden (seated-right) in 1957 asking for his advice on putting a ‘human into orbit.’ Kramden declined to elaborate when interviewed.

Friends say that Alice served bus driving husband Ralph Spam and pork 'n bean almost every night. "I think he finally flipped and  then...Pow!"

Friends say that Alice served bus driving husband Ralph Spam and pork ‘n bean almost every night.
“I think he finally flipped and then…Pow! Right in the kisser!”

Kramden's bus was searched immediately after Trixie failed to attend Tuesday nights church Bingo.

Kramden’s bus was searched immediately after Trixie failed to attend Tuesday nights church Bingo.

Houston, TX – (SatireWorld.com)

NASA Scientists released clarifying information, along with a hastily prepared Top Secret report, addressing the recent discovery of human remains spotted laying on the surface of the Earth’s moon. The desiccated figure, reportedly dressed in what appears to be a cotton print house dress and apron, was discovered by the Hubble space telescope last March during a routine high resolution scan of the lunar surface.

First reports claimed the body was that of a white middle-aged female. A routine inquiry with the Russian Federation’s space program chairman showed that their space program had all cosmonauts accounted for and the body wasn’t any of theirs.

The exact location is still secret but it is known to be in Mons Delphi region that is considered the most rugged and mountainous. From high definition video taken by the Hubble telescope, scientists have pieced together the identity of the frozen and desiccated female remains dressed in a cheap cotton house dress, a ashen-colored apron, and she still had pink curlers in her hair.

Major Robert Broward commented on the gristly discover, “We have determined from our high definition photos and using advanced facial recognition analysis programs, that the remains on the moon are those of a popular 1950s television sit-com ‘The Honeymooners.’ The show’s co host and star was named Alice Kramden.”

Kramden, the housewife of bus driver Ralph Kramden, was last seen with Trixie Norton in her Benson Hurst apartment in Brooklyn, New York in the spring of 1959.

Due to the threats of physical abuse and often repeated phrase of ‘to the moon Alice’ by her husband Ralph while he shook his fist in her face, prompted an investigation by NYPD.

NYPD detective Morry Steinblatz recalled. “There were many instances of Ralph threatening her, I guess one time he actually hit her and sent her to the moon!”

Friends speculated that Alice might have been fooling around with Norton, Trixie’s city employed sewer expert husband, but North vigorously denied the allegation.

Retired Transit Authority bus driver Ralph Kramden, now 89 and living in Florida, has denied hitting his wife and said she disappeared one evening in 1959 when she went to the store for some bread and balogna. He figured she met some friends and was having a beer or two. He ended the interview with an odd expression when he said…”Hardee Har Har!”

NASA has considered a posthumous memorial dedicated to Kramden since she beat the first women in space by more than three years.



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