Nancy Pelosi Diagnosed With Debilitating Infectious Disease at Annual Physical

by on 22/12/18 at 5:39 pm

Really, it shows!

Really, it shows!

Washington, DC – (

California congresswoman Nancy Pelosi was shocked and saddened to hear the results of her annual physical.  The leading Washington Democrat was diagnosed with a case of bovine spongiform encephalopathy by doctors at Walter Reed.  The findings were verified by the Mayo Clinic and the local offices of Planned Parenthood (where Pelosi receives most of her medical treatment in exchange for her continued support of abortion funding).

According to Dr. Jerome Adams, the current Surgeon General of the United States, bovine spongiform encephalopathy is more commonly known as Mad Cow Disease.  Speaking with permission of the family, a spokesman for Dr. Adams said “We believe that Ms. Pelosi has been infected with this condition for at least fourteen years.  The debilitating effects to the mind from the condition could have greatly contributed to her support of Obamacare, the Obama administration, and the Hillary Clinton campaign.”

Due to the positive test for this disease, doctor’s have begun testing other members of the House of Representatives and Senate with questionable voting records and public statements, to specifically include those from California (such as Maxine Waters and Dianne Feinstein).  Harry Reid has also been scheduled for a blood test, as has Debbie Wasserman Schultz.

When asked if Pelosi would ever recover from Mad Cow Disease, the Surgeon General’s office stated that “Oprah Winfrey has lived with the condition for over twenty years without major problems.  We also believe that Jane Fonda (aka Hanoi Jane) was infected sometime back in the 60’s.  Governor Jerry Brown has probably had it since birth.  Recovery or living a normal life (mentally) is probably out of the question, even if the infected is hit with a major dose of reality.”

“Persons working near or coming into contact with Pelosi are advised not to eat her (as a cannibal).  They should also be careful to wash with a disinfectant soap afterwards and to wear a mask when in her presence.  Those around her should just smile and nod and recognize the fact that her thoughts and actions are incoherent and not under control of a stable human being,”


One Response to “Nancy Pelosi Diagnosed With Debilitating Infectious Disease at Annual Physical”

  1. Philbert of Macadamia

    Dec 24th, 2018

    The Surgeon General also announced Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) will be connected to Walter Reid Hospital medical equipment that uses her bood’s anti-bodies to synthsize a mad cow vaccine.

    Nancy will be unavailable for the next two years! Newbie Rep. Alexandria Cortez (D-NY) has volunteered to be the new US House Speaker!

    Have a Cool Yule and a Frantic First everyone.

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