by Jalapenoman on 31/01/11 at 4:45 amDallas, Texas (Satireworld.com) –
Jerry Jones spent billions of dollars to build a new stadium for the Dallas Cowboys that is the crown jewel of the sporting world. It seats the largest number of people, has the biggest jumbo-tron screens, and dwarfs every other facility in the country. His arena plays host this year to the NFL’s Super Bowl and Pro Bowl.
While Jones is proud of this, he is upset that the NFL has chosen not to follow his request to send an All-Star squad of cheerleaders to the Pro Bowl game. “We got players from just about every team in the league here for the fans to see, so why shouldn’t we bring in the best and hottest looking cheerleaders too?”
“Everybody that bought a ticket to this game wants to watch some good football and be entertained by a bunch of pretty girls who are bouncing up and down on a 60 foot tall jumbo-tron.”
“There’s a reason why I also put closed circuit television cameras in the Cheerleader’s dressing rooms and tied those in to the jumbo-tron screens above the field. Before the real game starts, the fans who get here early can watch the action as the girls get ready and put on their uniforms. After the game, they can stay in their seats and watch the girls shower up.”
“I already sold the pay per view rights to this stuff, but now the No Fun League is ruining it all for me by not bringing in the Cheerleaders from the Raiders and Colts and Jets and the other teams. In Green Bay and Chicago, when their teams play in zero degree weather, everyone gets to see the cheerleaders with their headlights burning. Can’t they throw us southern teams and our fans a bone now and then?”