by Throckmorton P. Turdblossom on 03/11/11 at 1:42 pmDear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom,
What’s it gonna take for the Dallas Cowboys to get great again and win the Super Bowl? I’m sick of sucking behavior.
Betty Lou Socialdisease Goshdarnit, Texas
Dear Betty Lou,
Is this two things you are asking about here, or just one? Are you asking about the Dallas Cowboys and your being tired of giving blowjobs, or are you saying that you are sick of the Dallas Cowboys sucking? I really need more information to give an accurate answer.
That said, as far as the Dallas Cowboys go… I think that they will continue to lose until Jerry Jones pulls his head out of his ass and stops trying to out coach the coach. He’s got to stop hiring a yes man to do the job and let the coach make the on the field decisions. As your current coach is a former quarterback, he knows that Romo sucks. He knows that you need a new QB, but he can’t do anything as Jerry gets a hard on just thinking about Tony Romo in the showers.
I personally think that the Oakland Raiders can’t help but improve without Al Davis, and the best move for the Cowboys might be for them to ask Jerry to either sell the team or die himself. Mark Cuban made the Mavs successful in Dallas, so maybe he could do the same if he bought the Cowboys.
As far as your oral sex problem… maybe you ain’t been helping out the right kind of men, or maybe they ain’t been giving back their due. Two suggestions: charge more (and your customer base may drop… law of supply and demand and all that) or try some sexy senior citizens (and I can forward you my address if you like).
Today’s Observation From Throckmorton P. Turdblossom: To bad every team in the NFL can’t lose all their games this year. It’s been really fun seeing them all try to “suck for Luck.” Right now, I think Indy has the inside track, with Miami a close second.