Harold Worth Reporting From the World Cup: “London Gay Pride Parade Unsuccessful With Football Fans and Players Here in Brazil”
by Harold Worth on 16/06/14 at 9:28 pm
Brazil-FIFA World Cup – (satireworld.com)
As part of Satireworld’s desire to be international and cover news all around the globe, I am currently working in Brazil to cover the World Cup. This is, other than the Olympics, the most viewed sports tournament on Planet Earth! Instead of giving you “blow by blow” actions of the games and in the locker rooms and hotels with the players, I will be covering the human interest stories from the fans, the players, and the citizens and residents of Brazil.
This story, however, actually takes place back home in London Town!
It is Gay Pride month and there was a huge parade planned for yesterday (being the weekend and all), All gays and other LGBT people and advocates were supposed to march and watch and dress up all in leather and assless chaps and show their pride.
There was, however, a problem…. no one showed up! It seems that the only Queen in England yesterday was the one in Buckingham palace.
Research into this strange phenomenon showed that almost all of the Empire’s fudge packers, rump rangers, sheep humpers, catchers, and hose monsters were actually out of country. It seems that the Premier League paid for all of their players (and their boyfriends) to fly to Brazil to watch the World Cup (and the National Team is here also). With all of the big, rich, wealthy football fans also here to watch (along with their gay lovers of various social strata) the tournament, Jolly Olde England is fag free for the first time ever!
I spoke with Ian Skoobert, a.k.a. The Portsmouth Peckerhead, in the lobby of my hotel today. Ian is visiting Brazil to watch the world cup with his boyfriend and lover, a magazine editor he identified as “my Markie.” These famous flamers are here to watch their beloved ManU players as they watch the national team. Said Ian, “It is just so romantic to watch your favorite players as they sit in the stands with you. I just can’t help myself sometimes and just want to go and sniff the bleachers where they sat.”
Speaking of the lack of attendance at the Gay Pride Parade, Ian said “We would have been there. With all of the Football fans the world over here in Brazil, maybe we can have the planet’s largest Gay Pride Parade of all times!”
They say that the sun never sets on the British Empire… I don’t know about the sun, but there are a lot of full moon’s up and shining in Brazil today!
Harold Worth, Live from South America