Dallas Cowboys Owner Denies Wrong Doing With Two Females (A Satire World Editorial)

by on 13/08/14 at 6:29 am

Jerry's mother-in-law sums it up best

Jerry’s mother-in-law sums it up best

Pictures surfaced on the internet this week of Jerry Jones with two women. One of the pictures has the Dallas Cowboys owner grabbing and cupping a woman’s breasts from behind. Another picture shows Jerry standing in his boxer shorts, while a woman is kneeling in front of his crotch (apparently ready to deliver oral sex).

Jones denied that there was any wrong doing involved with the pictures. He also had no comment over the accusation that he was being blackmailed over the pictures.


The last time I checked, there were very few reasons for an older man to have his picture taken in such a position:
1. He paid the women. Yes, if this is the reason that holds true, these women were prostitutes caught in the act. Last time I checked, this was a criminal activity (as is solicitation of a prostitute).
2. He is a rich man and the women were gold diggers and you are a wealthy man. He’s also a married man, so that still makes this wrong.
3. These women were trying out to be Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders and were using sexual favors to help them make the team. If this is the case, it qualifies as sexual harassment, which is also against the law.
4. These women had boyfriends or husbands who were trying to make the team. This would qualify as a quid pro quo action under sexual harassment, which is still illegal (two sentences after I added #3 to my list).
5. The women were attempting to frame you and the pictures were taken with a hidden camera. In this case, the illegal activity is only on their part, but you are still a married man.
6. You got a little drunk and lost control. This is a human reaction, but you are still a married man (and most of us never cheat, even if we have had a few too many).

So… how about it, Jerry? In what way is this activity not wrong? We know that it was not part of shooting a movie or a tv show or a commercial, as that would have been an easy excuse to give the first time (even though these scenes were never in any movie or commercial or tv show).

How was this whole thing a “Misrepresentation” (your word)? Do you expect us to believe that you were actually giving the one girl a Heimlich maneuver when fondling her breasts? Was that other woman an out of uniform, army nurse giving you a short arms inspection? The only thing that you are misrepresenting here is the truth.

As the man who fired “every coach the Dallas Cowboys have ever had,” how about coming clean for the fans of your football team (notice I didn’t say “your” fans. Some of us have been Cowboy fans for over 40 years… and we have never been and never will be “your” fans). Admit that you screwed up (and we’ll even let you pick the excuse number to make it easy for you). Be an adult and admit to your mistake and go on with life.

No one will think any less of you for manning up (well, some of us can’t think any less than you). You might actually get some respect out of it for showing the ability to admit your mistake. This wasn’t a little boy (think Jerry Sandusky or Michael Jackson) and the women were obviously of legal age of consent, so you won’t go to jail.

My bet is that you will continue to deny any wrong doing in this whole sordid affair. Will you prove me right and confirm my opinion of you, or will you show a spine and some courage and tell the truth here?

The decision is yours.

2 Responses to “Dallas Cowboys Owner Denies Wrong Doing With Two Females (A Satire World Editorial)”

  1. captain america

    Aug 13th, 2014

    …..Romo’s legcy!

  2. E. Williams

    Aug 13th, 2014

    He was a friend of Slick Willie’s so, no, he won’t accept any blame for wrongdoing on his part. I hate the guy.

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