Chaos as ‘US Open’ Tennis Tournament Mistaken as Immigration Rally

by on 01/09/14 at 6:09 am

Cervantes says America is a confusing place

Cervantes says America is a confusing place after believing the ‘US Open’ but didn’t include him nor the 70 members of his family who traveled 700 miles hidden inside a septic tank truck with little water and no food.

New York City – (

Thousands of illegal aliens flooded the USTA Billie Jean King Tennis Center this weekend as the tennis championships were taking place, mistaking the title of the event for an invitation to gain citizenship.

Jorge Cervantes, an immigrant who illegally crossed into the country last month, said he came to the event because he thought it meant the US was open. “I thought this was where I was supposed to come to become an American. In my home country of Honduras, we saw a news headline last month announcing ‘US Open for two weeks at the end of August and into early September in New York City.’ I think we were misled.”

Cervantes hitchhiked to New York with thousands of other illegals only to be disappointed when there was no immigration rally, no free American citizenship, and no free services to be had at the tournament.

While the crowds of immigrants snarled traffic and annoyed tennis fans near the tennis center, the illegals themselves were baffled at the goings on inside the complex as well.

“We saw some TV screens outside that were showing people hitting a ball back and forth very fast, “ Cervantes said, “and we could hear the sounds of men and women shrieking and grunting loudly from inside the stadium. It appears this ‘US Open’ is some kind of sexual sport where no one wants to keep the ball. It seems very strange and we do not have such a sport where I come from.”

President Obama later addressed the nation and apologized to the illegals who had shown up in NYC due to the misunderstanding. He said he would support the USTA changing the confusing name of the tournament and assuring the immigrants that the US was indeed “Open.”

3 Responses to “Chaos as ‘US Open’ Tennis Tournament Mistaken as Immigration Rally”

  1. Philbert of Macadamia

    Sep 1st, 2014



  2. Oleg P

    Sep 12th, 2018

    Daft lardarse Serena Williams, what a bad loser.

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