by E. Williams on 12/09/14 at 7:05 am
Baltimore, MD – (satireworld.com)
Despite recent revelations the Ray Rice video showing Rice knocking out his wife was available months ago, NFL Commissioner Barack Hussein Goodell continued to maintain he had no access to the video until this week. “I only learned about the video when I saw it in the press on Monday, just like you folks did.”
Interviewer Norah O’Donnell handed Goodell a shovel during their recent interview, asking him if he wanted to stick with his answer and keep digging his hole deeper. Goodell responded, “When I start telling a lie, I NEVER change course and admit I lied, regardless of what the facts might show.”
Goodell has requested that Ambassador Susan Rice, a video expert, make the Sunday rounds to as many halftime shows as she can make in an attempt to clear up the controversy and convince the public that Goodell is telling the truth.
In addition, all previous copies of the video from before this past Monday have reportedly been erased by Lois Lerner, a professional data scrubber, and no backups are known to exist.