by E. Williams on 20/10/14 at 4:20 pm
NEW YORK CITY, NY – (satireworld.com)
No football fan can escape the sea of pink on TV sets each October as the NFL conducts its yearly campaign to raise awareness for Breast Cancer. Now, the league has decided to stay pink to honor one of the greatest things in the world, the Hoo-Ha. The player’s union was surveyed about continuing the trend into November each year and the players overwhelmingly supported the idea.
NFL Commish, Roger Goodell, views the addition as a PR win for the league, and especially for himself. “Why do we just save the Ta-Ta’s and not the Hoo-Ha’s? Why can’t we save both? That’s what I always say,” Goodell stated.
Goodell also revealed he had talked with Redskin’s owner Dan Snyder about a name change saying, “If one person has a problem with the name, I think we need to look at other options.” Snyder defiantly responded by agreeing to name the team the ‘Bearded Clams,’ just for the month of November.
Teams will be allowed to tailor their own styles for honoring the bikini biscuit. San Francisco’s team will play as the 69’ers in November, and we will see the Chicago Beavers, Tampa Bay Va-JJ’s, and the Tennessee Tight-ans.
For team cheerleaders, camel toe’s, usually frowned upon by team leaders, will be allowed since any attention brought to the Pearl Hotel will be considered a good thing.
“Women need to take care of those things,” Seattle Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson said. “Whatever we can do to help, we’re here to do our part.” Such an amazingly selfless guy. And many more NFL players have offered to be as hands-on as they need to be if it will help a woman and her kitty. These guys do have hearts of gold.
PSA’s will play during commercial breaks encouraging ladies to take good care of their nether regions, with plenty of product placement by a variety of nookie hygiene manufacturers.
Hoo-Ha Awareness Month will climax with a halftime performance during the Thanksgiving day football games by recording artist Pink.