by E. Williams on 16/05/15 at 5:31 am
FOXBOROUGH – (satireworld.com)
In a surprise announcement today from the New England Patriot’s football team, Coach Bill Belichick told reporters that the team has signed a previously un-drafted quarterback to start the four games that embattled star quarterback Tom Brady has been suspended for, following the investigation into the ball-deflating scandal from last season. The latest addition to the team is Thom Braydee.
Braydee is 6’4”, 37 years-old, and married to a supermodel, which sounds eerily similar to quarterback Tom Brady, but the team has assured the NFL and fans that this is just a coincidence. Outstanding tight end, Rob Gronkowski, who has been training with Braydee, says the new QB has many of the same mannerisms and throwing style as Brady but that rumors of the new player being Tom Brady in disguise are ludicrous. “The guy is spot on with his passing and I don’t think we’re going to miss a beat next season. They throw similar, but Thom has a moustache and sometimes wears glasses, so I don’t know where those accusations are coming from.”
Braydee has so far declined to attend a joint press conference with Brady but Coach Belichick writes that off to Thom being camera shy. Patriot fans we spoke to all agreed that everything is on the up-and-up because the Patriots have never, nor would they ever, do anything that could be considered cheating. All the fans were pumped up at the news and said they wished the season were starting tomorrow.
ESPN is reporting that if Tom Brady wins his appeal for his four game suspension, Thom Braydee will be released from the team immediately.