Cam Newton Blames Super Bowl Loss on ‘The Man’

by on 10/02/16 at 7:08 pm

"Well Cam, maybe you should've taken that Coca Cola endorsement more seriously"

“Well Cam, maybe you should’ve taken that Coca Cola endorsement more seriously”

SANTA CLARA, CA – (satireworld.com)

Before walking out on his post-game press conference following his team’s loss to Denver in Super Bowl 50, Carolina quarterback Cam Newton blamed his play on ‘The Man’ keeping him down.

Newton, the league’s MVP this season, had a great year and deserved the most valuable trophy for his efforts on the field. But the superstar quarterback said recently that his race was a reason why he had so many haters among NFL fans.

“I didn’t play well because ‘The Man’ was keeping me down all night,” Cam said after the game. “Sometimes ‘The Man’ was Peyton, and sometimes ‘The Man’ was Von Miller, but I was down for the struggle, I mean really struggling, and they kept me down all night.”

Newton said between Peyton, that band of crackas, Coldplay, and the Pale Witch Lady Gaga – who knocked the National Anthem out of the park – he felt like he was on the wrong side of town and the Denver defense were a bunch of cops trying to get him. “It was horrifying,” he said.

Members of Black Lives Matter immediately took to Twitter to run to Newton’s defense. They complained about the lack of diversity among Denver’s quarterbacks, and berated the Broncos for not spotting Cam two touchdowns to start the game to make up for reparations for slavery.

Cam said the Panthers would be back next, oh wait…never mind, Cam just got up and walked out. I guess we’re done here.



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