British Olympic Torch Bearer Falters Upsetting Brazilian Olympic Committee

by on 21/07/16 at 12:37 pm

Hawking says it was all a mistake and blamed the weather and poor wheelchair tires.

Hawking says it was all a mistake and blamed the weather and poor wheelchair tires.

THe [professor did find some time to relax with a couple of Rio beauties who happened to be into 'sporty wheelchairs and dissertations on astrophysics.

The famous professor did find some time to relax with a couple of Rio beauties who just happened to be into ‘sporty wheelchairs….dissertations on astrophysics….and $100 dollar bills.

Olympic City
Rio de Janeiro, Brazil – (SatireWorld.com)

The Brazilian Olympic Committee vows never to use scientist Stephen Hawkins again to promote the Olympics, especially what just happened prior to the 2016 Summer Games scheduled for Rio.

Noted physicist and perennial slow poke, Stephen Hawking, had taken possession of the Olympic Torch for a portion of the famous torch bearer procession starting from historic Mt. Olympus in Greece to the summer 2016 destination of Rio de Janiero. Hawking’s possession of the torch started 4 miles from the city’s border near the international airport. That is when the trouble boiled over causing an international incident and embarrassment for the British government.

Officials were fuming mad at the time, because they’ve had to refill the torch eleven times with expensive fuel, and yet… It had only gone less than 4 miles in just three days.

The struggling Hawking was last seen bundled up under soaked blankets as the rain assailed his already slow progress to a virtual snail’s pace.

“The bloody snail cost us time and money,” recalled an outraged observer, who showed a photo of himself as he nervously chomped on a stub of a cigar along the route’s sidelines. “Imagine that bloke on the last leg of the Olympic journey with millions waiting to get in!”

Hawking was originally chosen as a torch bearing runner because his application to represent the UK in the Olympic Field and Track event, but was turned down by the Rio Commission even though he carried the torch before at the London Olympics.

According to past officials recollections of the 2008 event, to speed Hawking’s progress, committee organizers had to rig a make shift sail to his wheelchair and to schedule the route where it was mostly downhill so as to be with-in the self-powered limits of the Olympic Torch progression rules.

Professor Hawking had no comment.



One Response to “British Olympic Torch Bearer Falters Upsetting Brazilian Olympic Committee”

  1. O'Leg Pee

    Jul 21st, 2016

    The guy’s a cnut

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