ArchivesTag : Bargis Tryhol

Fames Chance Visit to Hog Jaw-The Cheryl Cole Incident – Chapter 7

When the long black Cadillac pulled into Lucinda’s-Rest-A-While Luncheonette, many of Hog Jaw’s regular lunch patrons thought that possibly the governor might be stopping by. When British actress/singer Cheryl Cole stepped out wearing designer fashion jeans, Italian sunglasses, and an exquisite designer hat, many thought that perhaps it was country singer Shania Twain who arrived […]

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Hog Jaw Detective Agency – Chapter 6

Freedom First Baptist Church of Hog Jaw Sunday Morning Reverend Jeb Thornapple II brushed a bit of lint from his freshly pressed cotton suit lapel and turned toward the full length mirror besides his massive desk.

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Special Late Edition-Hog Jaw Gazette and Executioner- Chapter 5

POLICE INVESTIGATE DUAL MYSTERIES! Special Late Edition-Hog Jaw Gazette and Executioner Hog Jaw police responded late yesterday afternoon to two very strange incidents. Reportedly, one seems to be a ‘missing’ woman and the other were multiple reports of a gigantic chicken observed driving down Main Street just before dark.

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Hog Jaw Detective Agency-Chapter Four

Hog Jaw Detective Agency-Chapter Four (SatireWorld.com) Why That Crazy Old Mizz Schuster! “Shorty, you iz perhaps the stupidest sum ma bitch I ever met!” “Sorry Boss, I…” “Gull darn it, I ain’t got the time for excuses…Look at me! I look like a damn shit hole! Smell like one too and now we gotta git […]

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Hog Jaw Detective Agency-Chapter Three

Hog Jaw Hog Jaw Dectective Agency-Chapter three (SatireWorld.com) ‘Call Me ‘Frenchie’ Please’ The Greyhound’s brakes squealed and hissed as the driver pointed the bus away from the Hog Jaw Bus Station. As it gathered speed over the crunching of sparse gravel, the lurching departure was followed by a whoosh of oily diesel fumes and blowing […]

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Hog Jaw Detective Agency-Chapter Two

Hog Jaw Detective Agency Chapter two (SatireWorld.com) The Incident at Bernie’s Merriweather spun the wheel of the Eldorado and turned on to the highway that would lead them to Mizz Schuster’s place about 40 minutes away. Shorty fidgeted in the seat rubbing his swollen wrists. He hoped the large bolt cutters wouldn’t leave a long […]

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Hog Jaw Detective Agency-Chapter 1

Hog Jaw Detective Agency Chapter 1 ‘BANG!’ “Missed it Boss” ‘BANG BANG!’ “Closer now, but it ain’t no cupie doll winning shot Boss.” “Shut up Shorty. Hold the target a little higher so I can see it better.”

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Hog Jaw’s Hiroshima Charcoal Briquette Company Files For Bankruptcy. CEO Blames Product Name And Logo As ‘Poor Choice’

Special Business Section-Hog Jaw Gazette and Executioner Hog Jaw, Arkansas – (SatireWorld.com) The Hiroshima Charcoal Briquette Company, located on Mayberry Street, filed Chapter 7 papers early today in order to seek protection from creditors. Family owned by the Merriweather’s since 1945, the company employed 32 workers and sold products geared primarily for the outdoor recreational […]

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Our Day Of Infamy…9-11-01 A Personal Journey

Our Day Of Infamy…9-11-01 My cell phone rang as I turned onto the busy highway. I had just finished an early morning breakfast meeting with an old time client and I was hurrying to get back to the office in time for our weekly staff meeting. It was my assistant Linda who excitedly told me […]

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The Streets of Bordello Falls…..Part 4

The Streets of Bordello Falls…..Part 4 —7 Aces Don’t Make No Sense— Buck and Diablo dried themselves off from their bath and quickly dressed. “We better look like real womens or those assholes are gonna know it right quick. Don’t want any funny questions coming up neither. Buck pulled a package from inside a cotton […]

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Life at Moorview Institute ……Chapter 14

Life at Moorview Institute Chapter 14-The Final Chapter ‘The Good Old Days’ Moorview Institute was a blaze of lights and activity as the General Alarm forced all inmates into a general lock down mode. The recent discovery of Dr. Ward’s body, and the subsequent Springfield Police investigation, left staffers bewildered and anxious as police questioned […]

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Life At Moorview Institute….Chapter 13

Life At Moorview Institute – Chapter 13 Please, Turn Out The Lights Mel and Amos parked the van near the institute’s incinerator and took a little used door into the medical administration building. The offices were closed and just a few security lights were left on to illuminate the night watchman’s nightly journey.

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Life At Moorview Institute……Chapter 12

Life at Moorview Institute Chapter 12 ‘Too Many Cocks Spoil The Broth’ Cook Boswell Krebbs opened the door to the kitchen and flipped on the overhead rows of bluish fluorescent lights. The steady hum of the lights warming up was the only noise in the kitchen at this early hour and he was grateful for […]

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Life At Moorview Institute……Chapter 11

Life at Moorview Institute-Chapter 11 Life at Moorview Institute Chapter 11 “Please, a pound and a half sliced thin.” Eloise Altoids trembled at the sight of blood all over her scrubs. At first, after the stabbing of patient West, she just stood there. Staring and unbelieving at what just happened. She called the ‘time’ as […]

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Life At Moorview Institute……Chapter 10

Life At Moorview Institute Chapter 10 Number 4…Inmate Dean West “Altoids!” Her name sounded far away, and she still smelled a strange burnt bacon-like odor. She could feel her hand being rubbed and the sudden overbearing tinge of smelling salts being waved under her nose. She struggled to open her eyes.

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Life At Moorview Institute…..Chapter 9

Life at Moorview Institute Chapter 9 The Man Is Somewhat Lost In His Hat 1996-Springfield Court House: “Your honor. Now that the defense has rested, let me review the charges against the defendant one more time, so the jury fully understands the magnitude of the Administrator’s crime. If it pleases the court.”

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Life At Moorview Institute…Chapter 8

Life At Moorview Institute Chapter 8 Just A Tin Badge Luther Brightberry lay back on the couch. He had just finished a letter to Pappy’s niece who lived in Myrtle Beach. It was a hard letter to write simply because Pappy was a nice old man and telling a stranger how he died was the […]

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Life At Moorview Institute…….Chapter 7

Life At Moorview Institute Chapter 7 ‘Doc How’s About A Re-charge’ The one o’clock was right on time. Inmate Carl Strong lived up to his name. Six foot six and about 295lbs of pure muscle! His meat hook hands shook hers with all the gusto a 36 year old ex-railroad worker could muster. She took […]

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Life At Moorview Institute…..Chapter 6

Life At Moorview Institute Chapter 6 The Devil Meets Mr.Jones A frail man wearing familiar institution blue walked into the surgical waiting room. His hat was held in his hands as he nervously scanned the walls and looked for a place to make himself comfortable. “Inmate Jones? A dialysis right?” “Yes, m’am, I’m Jones.” Altoids […]

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Life at Moorview Institute…….Chapter 5

Life at Moorview Institute Chapter 5 “I love The Smell Of Chloroform In The Morning” Inmate, now patient, Belvis Pressley was gowned and wheeled into the operating theater on a flat-topped wooden gurney. The gurney was about six inches too short to accommodate the large man, so a board was added to support his feet. […]

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Life At Moorview Institute…..Chapter 4

Life at Moorview Institute Chapter 4 Lie still it won’t hurt. It will just probably kill you! Eloise Altoids woke early, showered, and quickly dressed in a brand new set of surgical scrubs. She was excited because today she was designated to work alongside Dr. Ward in the Moorview Infirmary. She wasn’t a great fan […]

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Life At Moorview Institute…..Chapter 3

Moorview Institute Chapter 3 The Very Strange Ways of Dr. Ward The sixth floor rooftop was deserted. Like the rest of Moorview, it too was quiet this time of night when most inmates were settled into sleep. The crunch of a bare foot on crisp leaves was the only evidence that someone was on the […]

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In Bid For 2012 US Presidency, Bargis Tryhol’s Economic Recovery Plan Makes Sense Say Experts

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) Bargis Tryhol, the endearing and witty spoof writer turned political activist and now Presidential Candidate, has issued his own stimulus plan to end the economic turn down currently stagnating the entire economy throughout the US. Today Tryhol released his own 'Economic Stimulus' he plans to implement immediately upon taking office in […]

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Women Who Received Pictures From Congressman Weiner Say His Nose Was Biggest Feature

Brooklyn, NY – (SatireWorld.com) Women who received twitters, e-mails, and other forms of transmitted photographs from Congressman Anthony Weiner have stated unanimously that they all thought his nose was his most prominent feature. In fact, a House subcommittee is now looking into the possibility that sending pictures of his nose was really the pornography in […]

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Used Jockstrap Sells For Record $350,000

San Francisco, CA – (SatireWorld.com) At a recent international auction house, a man’s sweaty jockstrap sold for a reported $350,000. No ordinary physical supporter, this particularly innocuous looking jockstrap was the property of Bargis Tryhol, the Man With The World’s Largest Penis, and now he’s equally famous as a US Presidential contender for the 2012 […]

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Reporter Walter Bucket Isn’t Related To Charlie Bucket, So Girls Should Stop Falling For His Chocolate Bar Pick-up Lines

Denver, CO -(SatireWorld.com) This publication has learned that our very own reporter, Walter Bucket, is not related to Willie Wonka heir Charlie Bucket (as he claims). As such, we are issuing a warning to all elementary, middle school, and junior high school girls (and a few boys) in the area to ignore Walter’s blue van […]

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Satire World Refused Waiver On Obamacare; Regime Cites ‘Biased’ Reporting!

Washington, DC-(SatireWorld.com) Health and Human Services Head Kathleen Sebelius announced today that Satire World.Com would not be one of the 1400 entities (and still counting) to receive a favoured exemption from the Obamination Health Care Act put into place behind closed doors by Democrats in the US one year ago!

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Satire World Reporter Attends First White House News Conference

The White House-(satireworld.com) Late yesterday Bargis Tryhol, Satire World’s greatest funny-news pundit, was invited to participate in his first White House news conference. Reporters who receive the chance to ask the coveted ‘first question’ are chosen by a blind draw and have the opportunity to ask the really important question of the day to Mr. […]

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Kentucky Presidential Hopefull Announces His Economic Recovery Plan

Louisville, KY-(satireworld.com) Kentucky Presidential hopeful, Cletus Goshdarnit, has announced what his first piece of legislation will look like as President in 2013. As Cletus outlined his plan, he expressed hopes of curbing the spiraling US debt. Goshdarnit promises he will place the bill before the Senate Leader the day he takes office in January 2013.

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