ArchivesTag : donald trump

New York Times Reports….Trump Racist!

New York, NY – (SatireWorld.com) The once respected New York Times, which in recent years was mostly used for bird cage lining, has stepped forward and claimed that President-elect Donald J Trump is racist and is in a conspiracy that will affect black citizens.

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Trump Election Protest Jumpers Frustrated Over Golden Gate Bridge Proposed Safety Measures

San Francisco, CA – (SatireWorld.com) The City by the Bay citizens and visitors seemed to be showing their election frustration as scores of potential suicidal bridge jumpers arrived at Golden Gate Park each looking for a place in a long line that lead up to the Golden Gate Bridge pedestrian walkway.

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Hillary Clinton Fingered In FBI Surprise Vagina Probe

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) FBI investigators named presidential candidate Hillary Clinton in an ongoing look at election claims that use television ad bites promoting their parties stance on certain issues and uttering supposedly false charges against other candidates. The use of Donald Trump images and the ad’s voice over depicting certain charges of sexual impropriety […]

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Polls: Hillary/Trump Locked in Satirical Tie

AUSTIN – (SatireWorld.com) Pollsters at the University of Texas say that a compilation of polls from across the country show Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump locked in a satirical tie for the presidency. Results showed Clinton with a 45% – 43% lead, with 12% completely unaware there is even an election in less than two […]

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Latest Trump ‘Groper’ Claim Shows Hillary’s Sexual Desperation

Blountstown, FL – (satireworld.com) The left is getting nervous as ‘The Donald’ isn’t going away into the sunset amid heated claims of sexual misconduct. In fact, all propped up charges of groping and un-warranted advances have been dispelled as fabrications including the latest from a Clinton campaign worker who claims she was groped by Trump […]

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Trump/Hillary Sing Debate Duet: “You Don’t Bring Me Flowers”

ST. LOUIS – (satireworld.com) It was a magical moment during an otherwise contentious second presidential debate. Having just exchanged verbal blows over whether each candidate was fit to serve as president or not, Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton broke into song in what pundits are calling “the first debate duet in political history.”

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Hillary Claims Hurricane Matthew Was Deliberately Programmed To Miss Trump’s Mar-Lago Resort in Palm Beach

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Reality TV Show Will Place Celebrities Into Earth Orbit For Six Weeks

Hollywood, CA – (satireworld.com) Reality Pictures Television will introduce a new reality series format on cable TV…’The Milky Way Mission,’ will send celebrities into space on a space craft dubbed ‘Hollywood One’. RPT’s agreement is with the Space Expedition Corporation (SXC), which is launching a space travel program for civilians in late 2017.

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With Poll Numbers Soaring Trump Vows To Incarcerate Hillary Clinton When He Becomes President

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) With his poll numbers overcoming a month-long deficit of almost 15 points in some blue states, presidential candidate Donald Trump is soaring high…And so are his growing legion of supporters in states that historically were Democratic strongholds! Reports of discord and emotional hand-wringing has placed the DNC leadership in a position […]

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Obama Indirectly Endorses Donald Trump for President

Shima Japan – (satireworld.com) The story carried in USA liberal media (TV and newspapers) about Democratic President Obama making snide remarks (during a US election year) about “foreign leader’s being rattled by presumptive Republican Presidential Nominee Donald Trump” was false. The problem was due to a bug in an artificial intelligence translation computer, translating Obama’s […]

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Realtors’ One-No-Trump Blinder As ‘Chateau Obama’ Contracts Exchanged

Washington DC – (Satireworld.com) The 10-bed, 20-bathroom, $30m Georgetown listing is in hush-hush contract according to back channels at Bulldozerbait & Teardown, realtors to DC’s elite.

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Obama Warns Trump: “This Ain’t No Party, This Ain’t No Disco”

WASHINGTON – (satireworld.com) President Obama lectured reporters and Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump today that the presidency is a serious job, and not just some reality show.

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Republican Presidential Hopefuls to Meet in Steel Cage Death Match

SOUTH CAROLINA – (satireworld.com) This week, CNN is hosting a unique event in the world of politics. Because of the vitriol displayed between the Republican candidates in the last GOP debate, the network is hosting a two-night, steel cage death match to whittle down the current field of six presidential hopefuls.

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The NYCTP Has Been Activated

New York NY – (satireworld.com) Democratic Mayor Bill de Blasio has announced that “Donald Trump will not receive any more construction contracts from New York City (NYC) because of his “criminal thoughts!” Some possible thoughts that provoked this blather from (communist or crazy) Bill de Blasio, e.g. Trumps stand on crime, Muslims, illegal immigration, the […]

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Republican Presidential Field in Disarray After Graham, Pataki Exit

NEW YORK – (satireworld.com) The Republican presidential field is scrambling this week to find a way forward after the shocking, recent departures of John McCain’s BFF, Lindsey Graham, and former New York governor George Pataki. The announcements also crushed the dreams of millions who were hoping to see the first male president named Lindsey.

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Trump: ‘My Schlong Is Bigger Than Hillary’s’

Trump Towers, NYC – (satireworld.com) Rocking from his recent successful taunting of Democratic presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton by accusing her of being ‘schlonged’ by political neophyte Barack Obama back in 2008, Donald Trump again raised the ante by stating at a recent media gathering that ‘his schlong is bigger than Hillary’s!’

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Trump Aims to Restructure Branches of Government

NEW YORK CITY – (satireworld.com) Speaking from his luxury Trump Tower office this week, Donald Trump promised supporters that, if elected, he would restructure the American government system to bring it more in line with what our Founding Fathers envisioned. Today’s government is nothing like the one that made America the strong nation it once […]

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Democrats Accuse Trump of Reading Lines Off Cue Cards on SNL

NEW YORK CITY – (satireworld.com) Democratic National Committee chairbeast, Debbie Wasserman Schultz, accused Donald Trump of reading some of his lines off of cue cards during his hosting gig on Saturday Night Live last night. Schultz says she is appalled that Trump would stoop to such a stunt.

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Painting Trump With Menstrual Blood? Only a Liberal Would Think of That

PORTLAND – (satireworld.com) Proving again that liberalism is a mental disorder, a progressive Portland woman has expressed her distaste for Donald Trump by painting a portrait of the Republican front runner using her own menstrual blood as paint. True story. She reportedly tried to flatten out her own poop to fire it in a kiln […]

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Trump Vows to Eradicate #BLM During First 100 Days in Office

NEW YORK CITY – (satireworld.com) Donald Trump today made an announcement at a campaign event that has his poll numbers skyrocketing. Trump told a crowd of thousands that if elected president he would put an end to the out-of-control #BlackLivesMatter movement. The crowd cheered enthusiastically as he went on to discuss strategies for eradicating the hate […]

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Several States Making Unusual Requests of Republican Candidates

VIRGINIA – (satireworld.com) Trying to quell any attempt by Donald Trump to potentially launch a third-party run for the White House in 2016, state legislators in several states are debating whether to pass requirements that candidates sign or agree to “loyalty oaths,” stating they would support whoever the Republican nominee is, and forgo running as […]

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Megyn Kelly’s MILF Status in Question After Debate Performance

NEW YORK CITY – (satireworld.com) Controversy has erupted in male circles coast to coast after Fox News Channel’s Megyn Kelly threw a “war on women” statement and question at Republican front-runner Donald Trump early in Thursday night’s debate. Was Trump immature in his response? Sure he was. But Donald answered the charge by saying any […]

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Trump Releases Renovation Plans For Post-Obama White House

New York City, NY – (satireworld.com) One thing you can say about Donald Trump is that he’s a forward looking real estate planner! Today’s press release shores up that statement with an architects rending of the future Trump White House after The Donald’s builders complete a renovation to the 200 year old national landmark.

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Donald Trump Claims He’s Found Obama’s ‘Lost Birth Certificate’

New York, NY – (satireworld.com) Score one for The Donald ! After months of frenzied investigations and a bevy of expensive private eyes shuttling across three continents, billionaire Donald Trump claims he’s found Barack Obama’s real birth certificate and the results are not all that pretty.

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Donald Trump Denies AFL-CIO Family Connection

New York City, NY – (satireworld.com) Swirling rumors of Presidential candidate and business magnate Donald Trump’s secret Polish ancestry have surfaced in recent days tying the New York City icon to labor unions and the union’s leftist-based movement to socialize America.

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Donald Trump ‘Captured,’ Ordered Held in Broom Closet by RNC

NEW YORK CITY – (satireworld.com) Because of his thoughtless comments about Senator John McCain being captured during the Vietnam war, Republican Party Chairman, Reince Priebus, has ordered that presidential candidate Donald Trump be held in a broom closet for one year to learn some empathy for what Mr. McCain went through.

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Trump Just Purchased 2016 Election, Will Paint White House Gold

NEW YORK CITY – (satireworld.com) The Donald announced today that because he was tired of listening to all the crap in the media about Hillary Clinton’s inevitability in 2016, he has called the media’s bluff and paid enough voters to back him – they’re now all under contract to do so – that his run […]

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Satireworld Gives ‘Thumbs Up’ To Donald Trumps Wife!

Trump Towers, NYC – (satireworld.com) President Trump? It could be in our very near future, but the best part is we’ll have a very attractive first lady who speaks four languages and has forged a very successful career in the fashion industry as our First Lady. Furthermore, foreign leaders will clamor for state visits by […]

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Plastic Surgeons Now Offering Rent To Own Services

Los Angeles, CA – (satireworld.com) First, you could rent a house. Renting cars and moving vans were followed by rent-to-own furniture, electronics, or appliances. The next evolutionary steps were rent-to-own tires and rent to own home computers. The latest innovation in this fast growing industry are rent-to-own breast implants!

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Miss Canada Turns Out To Be A Man! Eligibility Denied In Miss Universe Contest

Port Dover, Canada – (SatireWorld.com) According to Bjorn Davies, Port Dover’s national director of Miss Universe Canada, rules state to participate in a Miss Universe franchise pageant each contestant must be a “naturally born female.” This qualification has knocked Miss Universe Canada finalist Jenna Talackova out of competition.

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