ArchivesTag : fart
Throckmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”(Saturday Edition)
Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, My Mama says that you are supposed to excuse yourself when you burp or belch and that it’s good manners. Are you also supposed to excuse yourself when you fart? Jimbo Jumbo Girth, Mississippi
Full StoryThrockmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”(Thursday Edition)
Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, The other day, I heard this philosophizing question: If’n a tree falls in the forest, and there ain’ t no one there to hear it, does it make a big old noise? The teacher said that it don’t, cuz if there ain’t no ears, there ain’t nothin’ to hear the sound waves. So, [...]
Full StoryDear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”(Wednesday Edition)
Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, I really don’t got me any problems right now, but just wanted to say “Hey.” Off the record, who should I put my money on in the NCAA National Championship Game? Who’s gonna win: LSU or Alabama? Should I take or give the points? What do you think about the over [...]
Full StoryThrockmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”(Saturday Edition)
Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, I can’t swim. My momma has been threatening to make me take swim lessons for years, but they never can learn me how to swim or float or nothing. Now, Wanda June says she wants me to go skinny dipping with her out at old Burn’s pond on Saturday. I don’t wanna [...]
Full StoryThrockmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”(Saturday Edition)
Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, I gots a question for you: If’n you cut a juicy fart and some wet stuff squirts out, is that the same as messing your drawers. My momma says that it is exactly the same as crappin’ yer britches, but I say that it’s just tootin’ and it ain’t poopin’ yer [...]
Full StoryWhite House Investigating Committee Looking At Loompaland In “First Fart” Incident
Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) A White House Task Force investigating the “First Fart” incident is looking into possible involvement inside of the country of Loompaland. Last week, President Barack Obama read instructions to fart on his teleprompter, did so, and then followed that up by reading a “pull my finger” quote from the screen. Claiming [...]
Full StoryObama Seeks To Add Teleprompter Tampering To Patriot Act Due To “First Fart” Incident
The White House – (SatireWorld.com) President Barack Obama announced this morning that he will ask Congress and the Justice Department to do what is necessary to add “Teleprompter Tampering” to the National Security offenses listed in the Patriot Act. This decision comes in the wake of last week’s “First Fart” incident in Dover, Delaware. On [...]
Full StoryWhite House Laundress Admits “First Fart” Was A Wet One
White House Dirty Laundry Room (SatireWorld.com) A White House staffer in the laundry admitted to investigarors looking into the Presidential “First Fart” that Obama’s flatulence episode was “a juicy one.” On Thursday night, at a campaign fund-raising speech in Dover, Delaware, Barack Obama read a command on his teleprompter “fart now,” and then did so. [...]
Full StoryObama Calls Cabinet Back From Holiday Weekend To Begin Investigation Into “First Fart” Teleprompter Tampering
Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) President Barack Hussein Obama officially recalled the White House Staff, the Cabinet, and the rest of the Executive Branch back to work Saturday morning, cancelling their Memorial Day weekend plans. He immediately put everyone to work forming a task force and a White House Subcommittee/Special Commission/Task Force into the investigation of [...]
Full StoryFirst Daughters Admit “When Daddy Breaks Wind, He Usually Blames Bo”
The White House – (SatireWorld.com) Malia and Sasha Obama, daughters of Barack Hussein Obama, were witnesses to the famous “First Fart” incident on Thursday night in Dover, Delaware. The girls were attending the campaign fundraiser with their father when her read the command to “fart now” on his teleprompter, did it, and then said “I [...]
Full StoryObama Investigating Who Typed “Fart Now” Into His Teleprompter
Dover, Delaware – (SatireWorld.com) President Barack Obama is calling for a White House Special Investigator and a Congressional Oversight Committee to discover who hacked into his teleprompter during a recent speech. In the middle of a campaign fundraising dinner sponsored by The Prim, Proper, and Inbred High Society Ladies of Dover, Delaware, the President read [...]
Full StoryAuditory Experts Liken Sound Of Keith Olbermann’s Voice to that of “One Ass Cheek Farting”
MSNBC Studios-(satireworld.com) Keith Olbermann, the pundit who considers his one sided rhetoric to be journalism, has been identified as “special” by scientists specializing in sound. From his laboratory at Johns Hopkins University, Dr. Blake Nickel made the following statement: “Everyone has heard of the expression that ends with the phrase: the sound of one hand [...]
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