ArchivesTag : Football

Jerry Jones’ Eyeglasses Cleaner Refuses to Pick His Nose

Seacacus, NJ – (SatireWorld.com) During the second quarter of the Wednesday Dallas Cowboys-New York Giants game from the Meadowlands, cameras showed Cowboy owner Jerry Jones in his luxury skybox. He was handing his eyeglasses to a man behind him, who pulled a cloth from his shirt pocket, cleaned the glasses, and then handed them back […]

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Sandusky Family To Market “Jerry-Tool” To Pay Legal Defense Fees

Harrisburg, PA – (SatireWorld.com) In order to pay continually growing legal fees, the family of Jerry Sandusky has announced that they will begin marketing a new product. “Jerry-Tool,” a sexual lubricant, will be sold in adult book stores and adult video retailers across the United States and Canada and to sheep ranchers and Moslems in […]

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Lawyers Advise Jerry Sandusky Not To Wear Michael Jackson Fan Club T-Shirt To Sentencing

Harrisburg, PA – (SatireWorld.com) Lawyers on the defense team of former Penn State Football Coach Jerry Sandusky have advised the accused child rapist/molester not to wear his Michael Jackson Fan Club t-shirt to his sentencing or to any more court appearances. Sandusky is currently awaiting a verdict on 48 counts of rape and child molestation […]

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Obama Completely ‘out of the closet’, Now Embraces English “Football!”

Camp David, MD – (SatireWorld.com) It now appears that since President Obama ‘tucked in’ Dave Cameron on Air Force I, an event which is said to have accelerated his ‘evolvement’ on the gay marriage question, he’s come ‘all the way out’ with his new infatuation with English ‘football.'(soccer to you colonists)

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Half of Oklahoma Population To Be In Arizona For New Year’s

Oklahoma City, OK – (SatireWorld.com) Population experts have determined that half of the population of the state of Oklahoma will be in the state of Arizona on New Year’s Day. Mark Harrison, with the Census Bureau, said that “this is not due to their having better parties in Phoenix or because of the weather. It’s […]

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New York Jets Award Tony Romo Game Ball For His Performance

Dallas, Texas – (SatireWorld.com) The New York Jets awarded a ceremonial game ball to Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo for his assistance in helping them win their Sunday night NFL game. Though it is not uncommon to give a game ball to a quarterback, it is unheard of to give it to the quarterback of […]

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Dallas Cowboys Select Pippa Middleton In NFL Draft To Be On Cheerleading Squad

Dallas, TX – (SatireWorld.com) With the ninth pick in the eight round of the NFL draft, the *Dallas Cowboys* selected Pippa Middleton. She was not chosen to be a tight end or a punter or a cornerback. In fact, she had not even played NCAA football or even opted in to the draft. The *Cowboys* […]

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Pippa Middleton Admits She Fancies American NFL Quarterback Tony Romo

London, England – (SatireWorld.com) Pippa Middleton, the 27 year old younger sister of Princess Kate Middleton Windsor, has admitted to having an attraction to an American Football Player. Pippa rose to fame at her sister’s wedding to Princess William due to her role as Maid of Honour and because of her good looks and beautiful […]

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NY Jet Nailed for Carrying Weapon Across State Lines Loaded with “Wad Cutters!”

New York City-(satireworld.com) Jets cornerback Antonio Cromartie is under federal investigation after a newly published book by the pregnant fiance he left at the altar, claims the football player is a loose cannon and carries a weapon that goes off with no warning!

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Dallas Cowboy’s Owner Jerry Jones Upset There Won’t Be All-Star Cheerleader Squad At NFL Pro Bowl

Dallas, Texas (Satireworld.com) – Jerry Jones spent billions of dollars to build a new stadium for the Dallas Cowboys that is the crown jewel of the sporting world. It seats the largest number of people, has the biggest jumbo-tron screens, and dwarfs every other facility in the country. His arena plays host this year to […]

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