ArchivesTag : Harold Worth
Boston Explodes; Luckily Obama safe in Bunker after 4 Putting 11th hole on Andrew’s Air Force Base!
Boston, MA – (SatireWorld.com) White House spokesman Jay Blarney (sic) met with WH reporters in emergency session to assure the nation that Obama was perfectly safe after a series of explosions in Boston at the finish line of the Kennedy Memorial IRA marathon!
Full Story“Portsmouth Peckerhead” Joins United Kingdom’s Most Wanted List
Portsmouth (UK)- (SatireWorld.com) Scotland Yard has added the infamous “Portsmouth Peckerhead” to their list of the United Kingdom’s Ten Most Wanted List. The criminal, also known as Harold Worth, Ian Skoob, Skoob1999, Lucifer, Mrs. Kensington, Martin Shuttlecock, and Bookseller, is wanted for several crimes all over the United Kingdom.
Full StoryThrockmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”
Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, I heard tell that this woman sued McDonald’s because she put her cup of hot coffee between her legs, spilled it, and burnt herself. She got a million dollars or something and now places got to warn folks that coffee is hot.
Full StoryFormer Staff Writer Harold Worth Apologizes To Satire World Editors and Reporters
Orlando, FL – (SatireWorld.com) Harold Worth, a former staff writer for this publication, entered our offices in Orlando, Florida yesterday, porkpie hat in hand. Worth had come to make apology to editor Bargis Tryhol and all of the site’s other reporters for derogatory comments that he had made on a recent drunken rage.
Full StoryParamedics Remove Bicycle Part from Portsmouth Man’s Anus
Portsmouth (UK) – (SatireWorld.com) If you’re sitting down while you read this story, you’ll be standing up by the end. Especially if you’ve ever had a few beers and went riding on your bicycle. A man in Portsmouth is recovering from injuries suffered when his bike seat bent and the rod holding it penetrated his [...]
Full StoryRogue LA Cop Shoots Donut Shop Manager-Loses Local Support From Left
Los Angeles, CA – (SatireWorld.com) The ex-cop accused of three revenge killings left behind a long manifesto outlining all of his grievances and observations. The manifesto has given investigators some clues, but they still don’t know where Christopher Dorner is hiding.
Full StoryPrize Winner Announced in “Win a Shower With Your Favourite Premier League Team” Contest
Portsmouth,(UK) – (SatireWorld.com) Harold Worth, former reporter for this publication, was just announced as the winner of the “Win a Shower With Your Favorite Premier League Team” contest. Worth stated in an interview that he would choose to shower with Manchester United and “I’m really looking forward to the experience. It makes me remember with [...]
Full StoryGoodell Steps in, Declares Super Bowl a Tie! Soccer Fans Love it!
New Orleans, LA – (SatireWorld.com) In a shocking conclusion to this year’s NFL race to the Super Bowl, the San Francisco 49′s and the Baltimore Ravens battled to an inconclusive tie after 6 overtimes led to no scoring putting Commissioner Roger Goodell in an awkward position.
Full StoryObama: Soccer should be our national sport cuz only the fans die young!
Blountstown, FL President Obama, the former Olympic member of the Indonesian Skeet Shooting team, jumped into the national discussion involving traumatic injuries in football siding with former SW reporter Harold Worth praising the ‘civility’ of ‘football’(soccer in the US) around the world, especially in the UK.
Full StoryNFL Considers Arming Line Judges in Wake of Knife Threats from Ravens!
San Francisco, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Satire World has confirmed reports that a contingent of running backs, wide receivers and tight ends from San Francisco (no pun intended) have contacted the League Office due to concerns over threats of being stabbed by Raven’s line backers Ray Lewis and Terrell Suggs during the upcoming Super Bowl Game.
Full Story90,000 Hetero Brits Tired of “UK Futbol” Turn out for Patriots Vs Rams in London!
Londonstan (UK) – (SatireWorld.com) In a sparkling testament to testosterone and heterosexual preference, London proved today that ‘Yes, Harold, American Football lives in the UK!
Full StoryMartin Shuttlecock Kicked Off Another Writer’s Site For Troll-like Behavior
Begger’s Loop(UK) – (SatireWorld.com) Jobless, homeless, and without supporting friends, Ian Younge (aka Martin Shuttlecock plus other names) has hit rock bottom after yet another writer’s online site (newsbiscuit) caught on that he is hopelessly addicted to troll-like behavior toward other people, other readers, and honest contributors.
Full StoryChicago Land: Mayor Emanuel in Forefront to Stamp Out Voter Fraud; Death Certificate Now Required to Register !
Chicago, IL – (SatireWorld.com) Jumping to the lead on a campaign spearheaded by Left Leaning Satirical Web site Glossy Arsed News (GAN), Mayor Rahm Emanuel said he’s putting his ballet pump down on (alleged) voter fraud after decades of (alleged) abuse in the Democratic Party stronghold. (sic, sic & sic)
Full StoryDOJ Mulls Extradition of Christians on Egypt’s Kill List for “Peace in Our Time!”
Cairo, Egypt – (SatireWorld.com) Egypt’s new President for Life, Mohamed Morsi of the Muslim Murderhood called Hussein Obama on the carpet in a late night phone call demanding he turn over a host of Christian ministers and ‘hate mongers’ in exchange for calling off demonstrations through out the world.
Full StoryUnemployed Harold Worth-Less Finds Jobs A Scarce Commodity
Burlington(UK) – (SatireWorld.com) Harold Worth-Less is a familiar figure at the job search center in downtown Burlington where for the past 17 years he’s been diligently looking for steady employment. Plagued with personal troubles holding a steady job, the errant factory worker averages 4 months of employment before management realizes he’s a poor performing liability [...]
Full StoryInvestigative Journalists Try To Discover Middle Name of Throckmorton P. Turdblossom
Storm Cellar, Arkansas – (SatireWorld.com) Just what, exactly, does the “P.” stand for in Throckmorton P. Turdblossom? The curmudgeon, who writes The Country Boy Advice Column (for the publication), and noted humorist is refusing to reveal his exact middle name. All that the author will say is that it is a family name, it would [...]
Full StoryHapless Limey, Harold Worth, Spurned By Calcutta Officials Over Love His Interests
Calcutta, India – (SatireWorld.com) Polo, India’s only 2,000 pound male gorilla, is looking for some love. Despite an eight-year search for a mate, Polo remains a very lonely bachelor, and his Calcutta zoo keepers are making one final worldwide plea to find him a suitable sexual mate before his depression worsens.
Full StoryBumbling Limey Reporter Harold Worth Shows Off His Unusual Collection Of Urinals
Portsmouth, England-(SatireWorld.com) There are collectors and there are real collectors. Some people are content to save stamps or coins. Others express their happiness with vintage record albums, or memorabilia. Among collectors of the unusual, bumbling limey reporter Harold Worth stands out far from the crowd.
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