ArchivesTag : Harold Worth

CafeSpike Voted ‘Most Awful’ Online Magazine For The Second Year In A Row

Portsmouth, UK – (satireworld.com) For the second year in a row, Viral Magazine has voted a UK online publication Cafe Spike ‘the worst piece of trash since the ‘Lady Godiva Chronicles’ a similar online magazine from Canada which won the ‘Most Bizarre’ prize in 2010.

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Young Brits Now Claiming That British Sharia Law…’Not All That Bad After All’

London, England – (satireworld.com) British Security Forces went to Defcon security level 11 for the first time since the war in the Falklands, as thousands of Muslim protestors kneeled and prayed on the steps of Parliment in order to force the government to institute more demands for England’s swelling muslim population .

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Online Magazine Voted ‘Most Awful’ For The Second Year In A Row

Portsmouth, UK – (satireworld.com) For the second year in a row, Viral Magazine has voted a UK online publication Cafe Spike ‘the worst piece of trash since the ‘Lady Godiva Chronicles’ a similar online magazine from Canada which won the ‘most bizarre’ prize in 2010.

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Entire Satireworld Staff Hunting for Alleged Sniper

Orlando, FL – (satireworld.com) Recently, a story was posted on Satireworld with instructions to attempt to find a sniper.  This reporter took it upon himself to do just that.  Another staff writer, Philbert of Macademia, volunteered his help and assistance in locating the shooter.

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Bogus CDC screener arrested at LAX after testing incoming passengers with rectal thermometer…even though no one complained!

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) Government officials were scrambling to explain how the son of an influential Obama donor managed get an appointment as a White House advance “Eboly” screener and administrator of temperature checks on over 500 incoming passengers from Londonstan with a rectal thermometer purchased from Wal Mart with his government credit card!

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Satire World Editor lauded for raising minimum wage for struggling writers to $12 a word, $25 for words used in imaginary quotes!

Somewhere in Florida….(satireworld.com) Bargis Tryhol became an overnight hero for free lance writers when he said “it’s time to close the gap between the pay scale for real writers who have something to say and washed up politicians who employ ghost writers and get $14M advances telling lies!”

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Harold Worth Reporting From the World Cup: “Great Britain Eliminated From World Cup”

(Brazil) – World Cup As part of Satireworld’s desire to be international and cover news all around the globe, I am currently working in Brazil to cover the World Cup. This is, other than the Olympics, the most viewed sports tournament on Planet Earth! Instead of giving you “blow by blow” actions of the games […]

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Harold Worth Reporting From the World Cup: “Disgraced Former World Cup Official Spotted at Latest Games”

(Brazil) – (satireworld.com) As part of Satireworld’s desire to be international and cover news all around the globe, I am currently working in Brazil to cover the World Cup. This is, other than the Olympics, the most viewed sports tournament on Planet Earth! Instead of giving you “blow by blow” actions of the games and […]

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Harold Worth Reporting From the World Cup: “London Gay Pride Parade Unsuccessful With Football Fans and Players Here in Brazil”

Brazil-FIFA World Cup – (satireworld.com) As part of Satireworld’s desire to be international and cover news all around the globe, I am currently working in Brazil to cover the World Cup. This is, other than the Olympics, the most viewed sports tournament on Planet Earth! Instead of giving you “blow by blow” actions of the […]

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Harold Worth Reporting From the World Cup: “Brazilian Sheep Ranches Hire Security Guards to Protect Flocks from Football Players”

Brazil – World Cup – (satireworld.com) As part of Satireworld’s desire to be international and cover news all around the globe, I am currently working in Brazil to cover the World Cup. This is, other than the Olympics, the most viewed sports tournament on Planet Earth! Instead of giving you “blow by blow” actions of […]

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Harold Worth Reporting From the World Cup: “I Had My First Brazilian Today”

Brazil at the World Cup- (satireworld.com) As part of Satireworld’s desire to be international and cover news all around the globe, I am currently working in Brazil to cover the World Cup. This is, other than the Olympics, the most viewed sports tournament on Planet Earth! Instead of giving you “blow by blow” actions of […]

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‘E” (for EVIL) Willams, newly acclaimed SW writer, said today he turned down an $8M advance from Hustler Magazine to serialize his ‘Sex Diaries!”

(satireworld.com) ‘Evil’ cited the experiences SW Editor Bargis Tryhol underwent when he was universally acknowledged as ‘the man with the world’s largest penis’ causing envy, resentment, and shunning in the UK resulting in his ultimate banning from an under endowed editor of a humour site there.

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World Cup Bound Harold Worth Accidently Joins A Brazilian Street Gang

Rio de Janiro, Brazil – (satireworld.com) British reporter Harold Worth was in his 6th day of an South American fact finding and a vist to thje FIFA World Cup when, as fate would have it, he made a wrong turn on one of Rio’s numerous freeway off ramps. Soon, after a myriad of turns and […]

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1 in 2000 Brits Carry Human Mad Cow Disease Cells

Portsmouth (UK)- (SatireWorld.com) One in 2,000 people in the United Kingdom carry a variant of a protein associated with Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease, the human version of mad cow disease, a new study finds.

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New York Times Bails Out: Boston Globe sold for a farthing!

Boston, MA – (SatireWorld.com) Thanks to their liberal bent promoted by an editorial staff that has never been outside the hallowed halls of the vaunted “Ivy League”, the parent company finally got rid of their red ink by dumping the once vaunted paper at a fire sale.

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Howard Worth: Thanks to ObamaCare I quit my job at Satire World!

Portsmouth (UK) – (SatireWorld.com) Former UK stringer Howard Worth is just one of the 940,000 former employed who will, or have, opted out of employment thanks to ObamaCare and the Health exchanges.

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Boston Explodes; Luckily Obama safe in Bunker after 4 Putting 11th hole on Andrew’s Air Force Base!

Boston, MA – (SatireWorld.com) White House spokesman Jay Blarney (sic) met with WH reporters in emergency session to assure the nation that Obama was perfectly safe after a series of explosions in Boston at the finish line of the Kennedy Memorial IRA marathon!

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“Portsmouth Peckerhead” Joins United Kingdom’s Most Wanted List

Portsmouth (UK)- (SatireWorld.com) Scotland Yard has added the infamous “Portsmouth Peckerhead” to their list of the United Kingdom’s Ten Most Wanted List. The criminal, also known as Harold Worth, Ian Skoob, Skoob1999, Lucifer, Mrs. Kensington, Martin Shuttlecock, and Bookseller, is wanted for several crimes all over the United Kingdom.

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Former Staff Writer Harold Worth Apologizes To Satire World Editors and Reporters

Orlando, FL – (SatireWorld.com) Harold Worth, a former staff writer for this publication, entered our offices in Orlando, Florida yesterday, porkpie hat in hand. Worth had come to make apology to editor Bargis Tryhol and all of the site’s other reporters for derogatory comments that he had made on a recent drunken rage.

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Rogue LA Cop Shoots Donut Shop Manager-Loses Local Support From Left

Los Angeles, CA – (SatireWorld.com) The ex-cop accused of three revenge killings left behind a long manifesto outlining all of his grievances and observations. The manifesto has given investigators some clues, but they still don’t know where Christopher Dorner is hiding.

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Prize Winner Announced in “Win a Shower With Your Favourite Premier League Team” Contest

Portsmouth,(UK) – (SatireWorld.com) Harold Worth, former reporter for this publication, was just announced as the winner of the “Win a Shower With Your Favorite Premier League Team” contest. Worth stated in an interview that he would choose to shower with Manchester United and “I’m really looking forward to the experience. It makes me remember with […]

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Goodell Steps in, Declares Super Bowl a Tie! Soccer Fans Love it!

New Orleans, LA – (SatireWorld.com) In a shocking conclusion to this year’s NFL race to the Super Bowl, the San Francisco 49’s and the Baltimore Ravens battled to an inconclusive tie after 6 overtimes led to no scoring putting Commissioner Roger Goodell in an awkward position.

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Obama: Soccer should be our national sport cuz only the fans die young!

Blountstown, FL President Obama, the former Olympic member of the Indonesian Skeet Shooting team, jumped into the national discussion involving traumatic injuries in football siding with former SW reporter Harold Worth praising the ‘civility’ of ‘football'(soccer in the US) around the world, especially in the UK.

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NFL Considers Arming Line Judges in Wake of Knife Threats from Ravens!

San Francisco, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Satire World has confirmed reports that a contingent of running backs, wide receivers and tight ends from San Francisco (no pun intended) have contacted the League Office due to concerns over threats of being stabbed by Raven’s line backers Ray Lewis and Terrell Suggs during the upcoming Super Bowl Game.

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90,000 Hetero Brits Tired of “UK Futbol” Turn out for Patriots Vs Rams in London!

Londonstan (UK) – (SatireWorld.com) In a sparkling testament to testosterone and heterosexual preference, London proved today that ‘Yes, Harold, American Football lives in the UK!

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Martin Shuttlecock Kicked Off Another Writer’s Site For Troll-like Behavior

[/caption] Begger’s Loop(UK) – (SatireWorld.com) Jobless, homeless, and without supporting friends, Ian Younge (aka Martin Shuttlecock plus other names) has hit rock bottom after yet another writer’s online site (newsbiscuit) caught on that he is hopelessly addicted to troll-like behavior toward other people, other readers, and honest contributors.

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Chicago Land: Mayor Emanuel in Forefront to Stamp Out Voter Fraud; Death Certificate Now Required to Register !

Chicago, IL – (SatireWorld.com) Jumping to the lead on a campaign spearheaded by Left Leaning Satirical Web site Glossy Arsed News (GAN), Mayor Rahm Emanuel said he’s putting his ballet pump down on (alleged) voter fraud after decades of (alleged) abuse in the Democratic Party stronghold. (sic, sic & sic)

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DOJ Mulls Extradition of Christians on Egypt’s Kill List for “Peace in Our Time!”

Cairo, Egypt – (SatireWorld.com) Egypt’s new President for Life, Mohamed Morsi of the Muslim Murderhood called Hussein Obama on the carpet in a late night phone call demanding he turn over a host of Christian ministers and ‘hate mongers’ in exchange for calling off demonstrations through out the world.

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Unemployed Harold Worth-Less Finds Jobs A Scarce Commodity

Burlington(UK) – (SatireWorld.com) Harold Worth-Less is a familiar figure at the job search center in downtown Burlington where for the past 17 years he’s been diligently looking for steady employment. Plagued with personal troubles holding a steady job, the errant factory worker averages 4 months of employment before management realizes he’s a poor performing liability […]

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Investigative Journalists Try To Discover Middle Name of Throckmorton P. Turdblossom

Storm Cellar, Arkansas – (SatireWorld.com) Just what, exactly, does the “P.” stand for in Throckmorton P. Turdblossom? The curmudgeon, who writes The Country Boy Advice Column (for the publication), and noted humorist is refusing to reveal his exact middle name. All that the author will say is that it is a family name, it would […]

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