ArchivesTag : Hillary

That Largactil Shuffle Pant Suit A Foretaste Of Men-In-White-Coats To Come

Nevada – (SatireWorld.com) An Oscar de la Rentboy AW16-17 padded straitjacket stole the show at the University of Nevada last night as Hillary Clinton channeled her inner Madam President psychosis. And Blue Dog Dems everywhere cried Jesus F***ing Wept.

Full Story

Hillary Clinton ‘Can’t Recall’ if She’s Running for President or Not

NEW YORK – (satireworld.com) Notes from the FBI’s questioning of Hillary Clinton this summer show Mrs. Clinton couldn’t recall whether she received training for classified information, was told that her server could cause legal problems for her, or much of anything else, for that matter.

Full Story

Shark Tank’s Mark Cuban…. Another Hillary Enabler Who Hasn’t A Clue

Dallas, TX – (satireworld.com) Monday night on “CNN Tonight,” supporter of Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton, billionaire Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban, said Clinton did nothing wrong because the person who set up her email should have set up “filters and alerts that said any email that came with a classified header.”

Full Story

Overweight Blountstown Women Claim ‘Hillary Will Make Us Skinny’

Blountstown, FL – (SatireWorld.com) Clarrisa Melton, age 44, and reluctantly still single, has been fat all her life. Her mother and father were fat and so were her grandparents who Melton claims were so large, they both worked in the circus. After many years of watching slim and trim women on TV, and beautiful toned […]

Full Story

Speedo Drops Hillary Clinton As First Sponsors Sense Looming November Defeat

Beeville, PA – (satireworld.com) Hillary Clinton has lost her first major sponsor when Speedo USA announced it is dropping the career politician over speculation that an October Surprise email leak will surely wreck any chances of a Clinton Presidential victory in November.

Full Story

NY Post Promises Not to Publish Naked Pics of Bill Clinton’s Wife

NEW YORK – (satireworld.com) A few Americans were shocked at the photos of a naked Melania Trump, Donald Trump’s wife, on the front page of the NY Post yesterday. Thankfully, the paper has promised ALL Americans that they will not be subjected to having to see naked pictures of Bill Clinton’s wife.

Full Story

Atlanta’s DCD Issues Highest Level Zombie Alert for Philadelphia

Atlanta, GA – (satireworld.com) The world’s leading research and communicable disease control center (CDC) located in Atlanta, Georgia has issued its second Zombie Alert for the Philadelphia area, advising citizens to be prepared and have ample stocks and supplies on hand in the event of a zombie breakout.

Full Story

OMFG! Chelsea’s Baby Boy Is A Republican!

New York – (Satireworld.com) “The seven pounder was born with a VOTE TRUMP!** birthmark on his temple,” an obstetrician at New York’s Seedy Sign-Eye Hospital tweeted today as a pics of Chelsea Clinton’s latest farrowing went viral on the net.

Full Story

With Hillary Securing Nomination, Bill Begins Transitioning

CALIFORNIA – (satireworld.com) As soon as his WINO (Wife In Name Only) Hillary racked up enough delegates to secure the presumptive presidential nomination for the Democrats, Bill Clinton announced he will begin transitioning to a woman in the event that he becomes First Lady this fall.

Full Story

Elizabeth ‘Fauxcohantos’ Warren Hopes For Clinton VP Spot

Boston, MA – (SatireWorld.com) Massachusetts Senator Elizabeth Warren announced late Monday that she is slated to open for former President Bill Clinton at this summer’s Democratic National Convention in Philadelphia.

Full Story

Angelina Jolie Being Groomed For Hillary Veep

New York – (Satireworld.com) Rumored to be the brainchild of Goldman Sux bagmen the Clinton/Jolie dream-ticket is the latest punt to mesmerise otherwise sensible US voters into thinking ‘Vote Hillary 2016’ really isn’t some sort of sick joke.

Full Story

2016: Obama’s last chance to enjoy Martha’s Vineyard before Bernie turns it into agrarian utopia!

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) Barry is feeling ‘the bern’ as the 74 year old communist is closing on Hill the Pill for the democratic nomination! “This could be our last year in paradise,” Barry was heard on a hot mike with Debbie the Douche at a MA fundraiser!

Full Story

Spontaneous combustion blamed for Hillary’s pants suit fire during CNN interview!

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) Donald Trump was forced to eat his words today after an emergency causing Democratic front runner to have her pants catch on fire during a news conference with CNN on her sexual relationship with Vince Foster (rip).

Full Story

Democrats Accuse Trump of Reading Lines Off Cue Cards on SNL

NEW YORK CITY – (satireworld.com) Democratic National Committee chairbeast, Debbie Wasserman Schultz, accused Donald Trump of reading some of his lines off of cue cards during his hosting gig on Saturday Night Live last night. Schultz says she is appalled that Trump would stoop to such a stunt.

Full Story

Biden Accidentally Announces Run For Speaker of the House

WASHINGTON D.C. – (satireworld.com) Vice-President Joe Biden confused supporters today when he announced that he was running for Speaker of the House, instead of seeking the presidency. Aides thought the 74 year-old Democratic dinosaur was joking at first, until they remembered who was speaking.

Full Story

‘The Bernie’ Haircut Biggest Style Trend Since ‘The Rachel’

Liberal Land, MA – (satireworld.com) As America gets to know the socialist in Bernie Sanders, they are quickly learning something else about him. He’s a ladies man. A chick magnet. And it’s not his policies that are winning the women over, it’s the wild, wiry, white head of hair that are driving Democratic females crazy. […]

Full Story

Mental Health and Gun Control

Vienna Austria – (satireworld.com) Dr. Sigmund Freud III spoke before the Austrian Psychology Association (APA) on the 135th anniversary of the founding of Psychological Research. The meeting was held at the Kursalon Vienna Concert Hall. The attendees were the notables of the psychology world and all 1744 seats of the main hall were filled, plus […]

Full Story

Hillary Circumvented State Dept By Transmitting Classified Info Psychically

CLEVELAND – (satireworld.com) The latest excuse for how Hillary Clinton managed to do her job as Secretary of State if she never sent or received any classified materials through her home-grown private email server, as she claims, is that she used her head. During a campaign event here today, the former First Lady said she did […]

Full Story

Bill Clinton Giddy Over Prospects of WH Becoming “Best Little Whorehouse in DC”

CHAPPEQUA, NY – (satireworld.com) A new book is being released that details Bill Clinton’s current affair with a mistress called “Energizer.” I have no idea what that means. Can anybody help me out on that one? Anyway, according to the book, as soon as the Witch of Chappequa leaves their mansion, Energizer is escorted (no […]

Full Story

Hillary Pledges to Defund Planned Parenthood During Campaign Stop

NEW HAMPSHIRE – (satireworld.com) A Clinton campaign aide has been fired after holding up a cue card that contained an error for Mrs. Clinton during a rally in this state today. The sign read “I will Defund Planned Parenthood!” and the sign was supposed to say “defend,” not “defund.” Clinton campaign workers have not been […]

Full Story

Obama holds global record for heroin peddling says retired Interpol chief

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) “Ever catch yourself wondering just how many tons of heroin shipments made President Skank electable in the USA?” was a former top cop’s opening salvo at a DC security conference this morning.

Full Story

Hillary’s Test Results In; Allergic to Reporters, Everyday Americans

BROOKLYN  – (satireworld.com) The Hillary Clinton campaign has acknowledged what many have suspected – the former First Lady is allergic to journalists and American peasants. Skin tests were conducted at Johns Hopkins last week and the results were made public today. The diagnosis seems to explain Mrs. Clinton’s avoidance of all those not already within […]

Full Story

Debut of ‘Hillary Clinton: The Comic Book,’ Just Shoot Us Now

CHICAGO – (satireworld.com) The old adage “just because you CAN do something, doesn’t mean you should” doesn’t apply to the Hillary Clinton campaign. Now the people at Bluewater Productions (no relation to the Whitewater or Blue Dress scandals) are launching a comic book chronicling the adventures of Mrs. Clinton as she fights against all odds […]

Full Story

Clinton’s Reclassify ‘Middle Class’ to Include Multimillionaires

NEW YORK CITY – (satireworld.com) As news that enormous speaking fees gave Bill and Hillary Clinton between $25-30 million in income for 2014, the revelation has dealt a blow to Mrs. Clinton’s talking point about her being a ‘champion for the middle class’.  Many feel the Clinton’s are out-of-touch with everyday Americans because of their […]

Full Story

Stephanopoulos to Debut “My Week in Bias” Segment on ABC

NEW YORK CITY  – (satireworld.com) Now that ABC’s George Stephanopoulos’s secret financial connections to the Clinton’s has become public news, the chief anchor for the network is trying to figure out how he can save his ass and his cushy position. Only Democrats have bought into the notion over the years that George is a […]

Full Story

Nation Grateful That Hillary is Keeping Her Mouth Shut

WASHINGTON D.C.  – (satireworld.com) While beltway pundits and reporters are upset that Hillary Clinton has been MIA when it comes to answering questions they would like to ask the presidential contender, most Americans are more than relieved that the former First Lady has decided to just zip it. According to a recent survey, nearly all […]

Full Story

Tom Brady Deletes Entire NFL Database, Wipes Server Clean

FOXBOROUGH, MA – (satireworld.com) Just days after the NFL announced their findings from a preliminary investigation into whether or not New England Patriot’s quarterback Tom Brady had ball boys intentionally let the air out of his footballs to give him an advantage in games, word has surfaced that Mr. Brady has indeed deleted all files […]

Full Story

Obama Says Clinton Foundation is Model For Future Barack and Michelle Foundation

WASHINGTON D.C. – (satireworld.com) The Clinton Foundation is mired in scandal and that suits the First Couple just fine. “Scandal is about all we know,” Mr. Obama said in outlining his future plans for a slush fund, er, foundation bearing he and his wife’s names. “We’re so impressed with the things the Clinton’s have managed […]

Full Story

Hillary Rethinking Presidential Run After Brushes With Everyday Americans

NEW YORK CITY  – (satireworld.com) Meeting with campaign staffers in her Brooklyn headquarters following her latest disastrous trip to Iowa, Hillary Clinton called a “come to Jesus” meeting to discuss her political aspirations going forward. While the former First Lady still feels the Presidency should be bestowed upon her simply because it’s “her turn” and […]

Full Story

Hillary Takes Sniper Fire Upon Arriving in Iowa

DES MOINES, IA – (satireworld.com) Too busy investigating the hard news of Hillary Clinton’s road trip to Iowa, like who made her burrito bowl at the Chipotle in Ohio, reporters missed possibly the biggest story of her first pandering trip to the Hawkeye State. Upon arriving in Iowa and getting out of the Scooby Urban […]

Full Story