ArchivesTag : John Kerry

John Kerry Caught Reading ‘SatireWorld’ On His iPad

Boston, MA – (satireworld.com) At first Cal Henry was worried about his boss Secretary of State John Kerry locking himself in the private planes lavatory for almost an hour. Pressing his ear against the door he could hear giggles and a few short laughs. Somewhat relieved that the Secretary was OK, Henry took a seat […]

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JOHN KERRY DYNAMIC TRIBUTE TRILOGY III: KERRY DECLARES WAR ON LORD XENU (I WAS AGAINST SCIENTOLOGY BEFORE I WAS FOR IT!)

The Batshit Avenue Scientology Community People’s Temple – (satireworld.com) John Kerry is a man of the world, but now his flip-flopping has soared astronomically, to the point where it’s on a genuinely cosmic scale.

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JOHN KERRY DYNAMIC TRIBUTE TRILOGY II: NAPALM THAT GODDAMN CYBER-HORSE!

CharlieLand – (satireworld.com) Everybody (more or less) seems to love Charlie, the moody animated horse from Sugarcandy Mountain; yet, it seems he hasn’t got a friend in John Kerry, as you’ll read.

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JOHN KERRY DYNAMIC TRIBUTE TRILOGY I: VAST MAINSTREAM-LOGICAL-CONSPIRACY

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) The entire International Community (all ten or so individuals!) have been suddenly cast adrift without guidance and enlightenment…No, it’s not, as you mighta thought, that Glenn Beck and his MSNBC haters have hung up their microphones, leaving the entire global policy world in eternal darkness. Nah! It’s just that John Kerry […]

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Obama Launches New Hash- Tag Campaign to Combat White Priviledge: *HUG A THUG!

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) The White House has launched a new campaign to let folks know Obama is not taking recent unrest in Baltimore lightly with his surrogate mother Valerie Jarrett announcing a new nationwide effort to combat guilt and remorse over “White Privilege” amongst American’s college students under the Hash-tag of *Hug a Thug […]

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#NOT READY FOR HILLARY!

Realizing that it’s only April I began to shutter in HORROR as it dawned on me we will be bombarded ad nausea with projectile vomiting, lying, vile invectives from the LEFT as we head into the Presidential election debacle.

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After Iran Success, Obama Inks Deal as Foreign Policy Priceline Negotiator


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WASHINGTON D.C. – (satireworld.com) With all humans on the planet agreeing that President Obama and John Kerry negotiated the shit out of that whole Iran/Nukes deal, Mr. Obama has landed a sweet gig as the new Priceline Negotiator – Foreign Policy Division. The original, semi-retired Priceline Negotiator, William Shatner, will still handle all price negotiating […]

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(satireworld.com) Walter Bucket Presents True Facts……..according to Nopes! #161

(satireworld.com) Walter Bucket Presents True Facts

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US-Iran Nuke Deal Sealed With Firm ‘Pinkie-Promise’

Lucerne, Switzerland – (satireworld.com) After weeks of give and take, with Iran getting most of the take, the historic Iran-US nuclear deal seems to be coming to and end with Iran getting about 90% of what they wanted and the US getting just getting a deal, any deal, with lingering hopes to give some type […]

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Out of Ideas, Administration Turns to Twitter For Terrorism Advice

WASHINGTON D.C. – (satireworld,com) On Friday, the State Department, under the masterful tutelage of Secretary of State John Kerry, released a statement asking folks on Twitter to submit ideas on how to combat violent extremism. The administration will compile lists of the best ideas and submit them to the President in about a month. Already, […]

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President Obama Sending Glozell Green to Conduct Nuclear Talks With Iran

PENTAGON – (satireworld.com) Following his interview with YouTube sensation Glozell Green, President Obama was so impressed with the human bundle of energy that he announced she will be replacing the worthless and lame Secretary of State, John Kerry, in ongoing nuclear talks with Iran. Mr. Obama said Glozell possesses several traits that Mr. Kerry lacks.

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John Kerry, James Taylor Begin “You’ve Got A Friend” World Tour in France

PARIS – (satireworld.com) In the wake of the Charlie Hebdo killings, and other terrorist attacks in France recently, John Kerry, the lamest Secretary of State in US history, has joined forces with musical artists to go wherever a problem arises around the world, sing a song, and make it all better. The fact that he […]

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Obama Cobbles Together Strange Coalition to Destroy ISIS

Washington D.C. – (satireworld.com) The coalition being put together by President Obama and Secretary of State John Kerry to deal with the terrorist threat known as ISIS is creating an usual mix of fighting forces designed to destroy the evil force in the Middle East.

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Democrats Scramble For New Rocks As Dismal Mid-Term Elections Approach

Condor, CA – (SatireWorld.com) The buying rush has officially began in parts of the US as hundreds of thousands of former Obama supporters rush out to buy new shelter for themselves and their families before the impending November mid-term elections.

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PHOTO OF THE DAY

Satireworld’s photo of the day

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Obama Levies ” “head tax” on ISIS , declares “victory without firing a shot!”

Martha’s Vinyard, MS – (satireworld.com) President Obama agreed with former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi that he would not mandate ‘boots on the ground’ as bloody ISIS terrorists continued their rampage in the country he abandoned to appease his base instead deciding to ‘tax them out of business!”

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Several Members of John Kerry’s Security Detail Drop Dead From Boredom

Jerusalem – (satireworld.com) Most people would assume that working in a Secret Service position for a high ranking government official would be one of the most adrenaline-filled, exciting jobs one could ever have. But when that high ranking government official happens to be John Kerry, who served in Vietnam, the job can be anything but […]

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Disorientated John Kerry held for mental evaluation after docking yacht in Nantucket drunk and nude!

Nantuckett, MA – (satireworld.com) The Secretary of State, appearing dazed and confused after his fiasco in attempting to add the Nobel prize to the long list of bogus awards, was forcible restrained after he plowed his $7m ,76′ custom sloop into the dock while flying his mast at half staff!

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Obama exercises Executive Action to Expedite opening of Mashpee, Ma medical marijuana clinic in time for 2 week ‘dream’ vacation!

Mashpee, MA – (satireworld.com) With the first family’s 2 week agonizing ‘vacation’ on Martha’s Vineyard (for residents and tourists) just 3 weeks away, reports are that the President was ‘in a panic’ after permits to open a marijuana clinic just 15 miles across Nantucket Sound were stalled.

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Kerry under fire in Iraq: petitions for yet another Purple Heart after getting hit in head by shoe during insulting parliament address naming new Transgender Ambassador!

Baghdad, Iraq – (satireworld.com) Secretary of State John Kerry was met with shock and disgust today after announcing “since your country could go either way in the next 48 hours, I’m making good on my promise to my LBGT supporters and assigning a transgender person to become the next ambassador to Iraq!”

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The Three A.M. Call: “Iraq is burning, anybody know where the President is Sleeping these days?”

US Embassy,Baghdad – (satireworld.com) Frantic calls from the US embassy in Bagdad last night resulted in a Deja Vu moment all over as it appears the President is ‘missing in action AGAIN!

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White House Spokesman Says: ‘Laugh Track Audio To Be Added To All Jay Carney Press Conferences’

The White House – (SatireWorld.com) On Tuesday night, White House press secretary Jay Carney again referred questions about the collection of Associated Press phone records to the Department of Justice, stating that President Barack Obama remained a “strong defender of the First Amendment.” The struggling White House Press Secretary revealed the Administration’s official position with […]

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Russia To Annex Earth’s Moon

Moscow – Russian Space Agency Russian Deputy Prime Minister Dmitry Rogozin announced on Friday that the nation plans to carve out an area of operations on the moon citing, “We saw the moon first and it belongs to us!”

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Agricultural Department Employee Becomes First Federal Employee Actually Fired Under Obama Administration

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) It finally happened. A federal employee was fired today becoming the first federal employee to be terminated since 2009. Even after the debacle of Obamacare and Sibelious. Even after IRS lies and deceit. Even after incompetence killed four US citizens in Benghazi. Even after billions of dollars were shoveled down empty […]

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Overheard at Kerry’s Ukraine Burger Summit: “Vlad..you want ketchup with those fries?”

Kiev, Ukraine – (satireworld.com) Making good on his promise to be ‘more flexible after I’m re elected’, President Obama had Secretary of State John Kerry host a Russia/US/Ukraine lunch summit in Kiev with the US picking up the tab thanks to new found money recovered from the shrinking Pentagon budget.

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Obama Nominates Mega Bundler, Harvard Classmate “Ben Dover” for Ukrainian Ambassadorship!

Kiev, Ukraine – (satireworld.com) Panic hoarding is now being reported in the Ukraine as KY jelly is stripped from shelves as citizens react to threatened sexual assaults initiated by Vlad the Impaler and enabled by John “Lurch” Kerry, Barry “I’m leading from your behind’ Obama, and the latest domestic battery threat, internet tycoon and semi-retired […]

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Obama Bails out after drawing yellow line in snow: but agrees to meet Putin in Anchorage for a Beer!

The Alaska Border – (satireworld.com) President Obama, sensing increasing disaster and loss of ‘cred’ as Vladimir Putin continues to dis-respect him (as they say in the ‘hood’) announced at a press conference that he had drawn ‘a yellow line in the snow’ around Alaska, and warned Putin not to cross it or face ‘serious consequences’,(ed […]

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Chechens Swarm Kerry After He Lands at Wrong Airport!

Chechnya National Airport – (satireworld.com) To no one’s great surprise a dazed and confused Secretary of State, John Kerry, landed without incident to confront Vladimir Putin over the Ukraine cluster only to find that he had landed in Chechnya instead of Kiev!

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Deja Vu: Rice Briefs Obama on Ukraine: Blames Netflix for Releasing “Red October” on Kiev TV Forcing Reds to Invade!

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) While Obama’s “National Security Team” (oxymoron”) waited for Barry to show up for a Ukraine briefing to no avail, his diminutive Security Advisor Susan Rice of Benghazi infamy, put a new spin on the President’s incompetence by blaming Russian action on the re release of “Red October’ on TV stations in […]

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Karzai’s final sticking point to Afghan withdrawal: Pension, Benefits, Security and Obamacare!

Kabul, Afghanistan – (satireworld.com) The Obama White House said final withdrawal plans are almost complete for Barry to withdraw all troops in Afghanistan by Halloween 2014 after intensive negotiations between Hamid Karzai and US shadow ambassador Valerie Jarrett.

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